What exactly are my options

 You know that calm I felt, well I can feel it starting to leave me. 

The most recent thought I had is well since I have this emotional support, why don't I go to Seattle and try the wellness adventure. It'll be another attempt at making friends and being more social.  And  I'll have someone to talk to about it.

This week if all goes to plan, I will have 3 therapy sessions.

I want the Thursday guy to really work with me on cognitive behavioral therapy. And if I can't decide between the other 2 female therapists, I think I might just alternate their weeks so that I'm talking to someone on Tuesdays and Thursdays as opposed to three days a week.

This is what money buys me.

I have no idea how much this is all going to cost but I know that if insurance doesn't cover it, each of them listed a cash price around $100-$120.

Since 8 sessions seems to be the default I've heard before, I'm hoping I don't have to spend more than like $3k out of pocket if I run into insurance issues.

But even though my money won't buy me a Lamborghini or a beach house, it can let me be silly with therapy. 

I was reading A Purple Life's post yesterday about how some of her money values have changed. It was nice to get that reassurance from someone else.

Because that has changed a bit for me as well. Remember that time early in my journey when I walked out of a Moe's because I was so stressed to pay $12 for a burrito bowl.

I went over my food budget early this week/ end of last week, and it was like okay, well that sucks. I think the day I found out, I ate all my meals at home, but it wasn't this ball of stress. It's more something to think about.

Technically, my allowance is $400/month, and I haven't gone over that yet. But yes, $200 is allocated for Groceries/Eating out. I'm aware I've been therapeutically eating not consciously eating so that's always going to be worth it. 

I guess I can always re-engage a therapist if I go back to Seattle next year, so there's that.

Oh, I have been meaning to see if USDA upped their monthly food budget for a family of one given all these prices increases. Oh, just checked! It's gone up to $250! Um, so when I did a Google search, King County, WA came up and it was $250. That sucks for them because it's the same price in NC and things are definitely cheaper here! 

I also feel like rarely are the things I'm buying on sale. I guess cereal costs $5/box, now?

Actually, these rates went up Oct 2021, so I've been doing pretty well then! I only started to feel it really this month. 

Anyway that's not what I came to write about. 

I wanted to explore my options.

Default: 

Finances/Career:

- Work until around March 2024

- FIRE with that same $500k+/ $20k/yr budget (Reasonably, I should have a little more after 1 more year of working, but realistically don't know how much or if it'll move the needle that much)

Lifestyle:

- Stay in countrybumpkinville

- Maintain current social life, i.e. sporadic volunteering, weekly walks when weather permits, the occasional meetup

- Maybe 1 or 2 trips a year, as budget allows

Option B

Finances/Career:

- As physical limitations allow, work for as long as I need to support my new lifestyle

- Continue to at least max out my 401k (and get company match), and spend the rest

Lifestyle:

- Move to an area with more active social scene

- Figure out some new hobbies/interests

- Make friends

- Build community

The thing is I keep trying this and I'm tired of failing. I moved to DC; I moved to California; I moved to NC. It's not working. 

What am I afraid of?

- It's a lot of effort

- Wasting money I guess? But do I need the money, if the default is just wasting away in CountryBumpkinville?

- What to do with the house - rent? leave it? (I think at least for year 1, I would leave it as a launch pad)

- Can I manage this workload if it increases? 

- I'm tired of planning for the future?

- What will work look like next year?

- Am I going to stay employed? I hate depending on work, that was the whole point of FIRE! (I guess that's a reason not to buy, and to keep my launch pad)

-How do I carry both households?

Why do I keep coming to these small towns? 

- I'm recalling dream of a Southern Romeo and Juliet romance. I think I romanticized the South, but instead of the romance, I got a bunch of caca. 

- But if in 10 years what I want will change anyway, why don't I just stay put and wait out the next 10 years?