Relinquish the past and begin anew!

 So one of the boys from Seattle Trip #1 re-matched me on Hinge. I had made an intention to wait till Monday to text him back (1 week from when he messaged me). 

Then he double-texted! To hang out this weekend.

Ugh, sir... you ghosted me for pretty much 2 months and now?

I'm proud of myself for even making it this far.

A part of me was pretty confident he wouldn't unmatch because last time he didn't unmatch even after ghosting me. But now I'm curious if he will if I don't respond.

The others definitely have.

Sucks for them.

Spoke to Therapist #2 today. Do other therapists try to relate to you this much? She was like me too on a lot of things - being an overachiever, level of education achieved, the culture of my town. 

It gave me pause, but naturally I don't know what to do about it.

Part of the reason I didn't want to try multiple therapists is that I don't know how to choose.

I prefer the EAP therapist to either of the two I have now. But I don't think she's licensed in my state. 

It just occurred to me, if I'm trying to figure out relationships, maybe I should enlist a male therapist?

Duh! Why didn't I think of that.

One thing I did like about my last session, I asked how long is it supposed to take, and she said traditionally after 8 weeks/sessions, you should see progress. But she says in reality that doesn't happen.

But I like shooting for 8 sessions. It makes sense because I feel like a few programs I've started, that number 8 has come up. 

I was feeling so good about having a number, that I put up a new goal sheet on the wall

I ..let's celebrate a moment..accomplished my work and financial goals. They only went to Mar 2022. I lived y'all!

As much as Seattle has caused me grief. It did give me something else to think about! 

So I think that's what my life is now...coming up with distractions.

I might go to the Thursday night church service tonight.

I just had it in my mind to go to this board game meetup this afternoon and forgot. So I still have an itching to go somewhere (which is rare!). 

Even though it's probably a bit preliminary, I asked her if I should move to Seattle. I originally said something like should I go to Seattle in Sept-Oct.

She thought I meant permanently. She said to wait and stop running. 

But I clarified it was more just to get away. She said okay. 

It feel less anxiety inducing to stop wondering.

So actually if I count out the days, if we stick with the 8 weekly sessions, that will encompass just about the entire time I plan to be in Seattle.

So it will be nice to have the support!

I'm getting excited now. 

Oh I like it! It'll be a real wellness retreat!

I think I'm willing to pay the cash price if I need to if insurance doesn't cover every session if I find myself continuing with 2 therapists. 

I think I'm also taking a break from 2 of my committee members. They have a lot going on in their lives and I need to give them space to enjoy. I also don't think they have space for a single pringle right now.

I have to accept that.

I want to go get some African food and watch the last episode of Indian Matchmaking, Season 2.