Mon, 8/1, 6p

 Maybe I need something different? Do I move? Do I stay put?

Should I see if I can get on anti-anxiety meds.

I don't know if it's the COVID isolation or just the last 7 year of slowly slipping into this isolation but I can't take it anymore.

It all just seems unbearable.

Maybe it wasn't work I needed to escape, but life itself?

I'm running out of solutions?

I feel alone. 

I feel anxious, sad. I can't stop crying.

I don't even know what I'm sad about anymore.

I'm back on 3 apps and it's making me anxious.

Not being on the apps is making me feel hopeless.

This like unchartered future with no hope and no tether and no hoped for outcome has just left me adrift.

I'm lost and scared and there is no one to comfort me. I don't know what to do next.

It's like a bad accident.

You just want to get back in the car and not make the wrong turn.

I've run out of things to do to distract myself.