It's done

 Quite unceremoniously, my number was changed. I thought I would be given instructions on what to do but it was auto-changed. 

All the better. I'm tired of fighting the natural way of things. For the most part it's been working. I think I'm just going to keep going with that mindset

I need to relinquish things better. Faster. Let go of the past. Keep resetting until the tape plays correctly.

I was looking back at past blog posts for some inspiration, but it seems as though I've had this low mood and background death plan for awhile now.

I know it's drastic, but for the most part it works. It keeps me moving forward. I'm talking about changing my numbers.

I was silently giving my committee member grief for living life in hard mode but maybe the message was for myself. Maybe I need to leave this house? Leave this life? 

But chasing big dreams causes distress, so I'm back to where I started.