The thing is

 It's a weird feeling holding your life in your own hands. Is this what it's like for mothers with unplanned pregnancies? Or does it feel completely different?

I started reading Guideposts randomly - looking for some sort of guidance. The Angel stories are so small and prayers answered are miniscule.

They talked some about "signs" - coincidences and clues of what God may be trying to tell us.

Hrmph.

It seems like everytime I've tried that, I've gotten it completely wrong - i.e choosing teaching instead of pharmacy school.

I was hoping that having this pistol permit would help force my hand in one direction or the other. I had a cancer scare in pharmacy school, and the thing I remember thinking is - wow, I'll die never being in (romantic) love. That was really sad.

10 years later and it's true. 

I was thinking of for a second.. do I want to go to law school?

I keep going back to colleges as these major inflection points. It was something where I at least could feel God.

I was looking at UW. They have a full-ride scholarship if you do public service for 5 years and get accepted. That would be fun. Ew...five years of working!

Well that would definitely be my 40s!


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