It's actually a bit before 10a because I have a 10a mtg to attend.
My tummy still feels weird. I think not everything I ate yesterday was lactose free. Ugh. Might go to the market and get some bananas.
I don't want to eat my remaining $1.75 mandarin. It tastes weird
After today, only 3 days left then I get to go home. I'm looking forward to eating McDonald's again. If my stomach still feels wonky, I might get a rice dish later and forego sushi.
I've got two preliminary asks for dates, so we shall see. Neither are particularly responsive so the odds are not looking good.
Dapple showed up in my standouts today on Hinge so that means he didn't block me. Yay. I messaged him anyway. I think I've already grieved the rejection. I'm also a little unsure if Hinge is shadowbanning me because my match list is decreasing without me doing anything.
I hope Dapple responds but if he doesn't, I'll be proud of myself for not deleting Hinge. As much as I hate Secret Love, in the end, it really keeps me going. By not deleting my profile, I can hang onto the possibility until the end of my trip- Yay!
Dopey girl!
Honestly, the boys on here are so lazy and doofuses. All the bros like to put they don't want penpals and I think I generalized that to all the boys. The rest of the guys on here are really slow to act. They message lazy texts and I think expect the girl to carry the convo. Not into it.
I feel like I've been doing hard labor on these apps.
If I ever get back on the apps again, I really have to do it only in tandem with Catfish Katie so I can have a direct comparison.
My h.s. friend messaged me finally about hanging out tonight. But I hate messaging and the umpteen hours in between contact. What does this actually mean? I mean I'm not fearful of us not hanging out I just don't know how to structure the rest of my day, and by day I mean mood. Do I eat, go out, get dressed, shower? I like to plan out my day (mood) ahead of time.
Still daydreaming about Japple. How wonderful it would be to spend the weekend in a whirlwind romance! Oh the stuff of fantasies! I think it finally hit me that the Mormon boy just didn't like me. Once that fully sinks in, I can move on. I think it's when I think there's a chance that I try to throw everything at the guy and present my case in many ways. But yeah, he didn't like me. I was a nothing to him. Even if he didn't want to admit it, I think he still secretly wanted a blushing Mormon bride for his secret love fantasy. Unfortunately, I wasn't it.
I'm reminded of the "good Catholic boys" I crushed on in undegrad. It was a person in my friend group that finally pointed out they probably wanted a "good Catholic girl" for their blushing bride (read: Carefree white girl), and I wasn't it.
What I didn't know then was it wasn't my job to change their mind.
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