I landed in Seattle

 I landed yesterday evening! 

But ugh... I forgot to practice temperance. I forgot already it was a theme for 2022. Well fail on all accounts. Well except for the 3 months I was led on by Dapple. People really are different. Are we sure the old adage of 'treat people as you want to be treated' still stands.

That's what I do, but it definitely comes off cringe in the dating scene. 

Off topic, where are we.

I'm in Seattle and in case any part of me was wondering if I was cured of my recent freak-out and didn't in fact need to separate myself from that sadness, well I'm here to tell you I had a small crying spell just on Sunday morning before I left.

Here's what happened. Being the jump-the-gun person that I am, I had messaged 3 of my old dudes. Just feeling whimsical on Saturday. Life was going so great, maybe this would work out! I said to myself, be patient and don't check until after you land in Seattle.

Nope, 5a Sunday morning, I woke up and not one of them had responded!

Freakout!!!

I immediately deleted my Hinge profile. And then re-added it.

I just had to get myself out of there. 

Ugh. I half-regretted of course a few hours later.

Then when I was fully awake, the full weight of rejection hit me and the tears came down like a stream. Hot and stinging. 

I knew if I were Catfish Katie, they would've responded in a heartbeat. I know this because it happened. 

But really there's only 2 possible scenarios:

They saw the message and deleted it.

OR

They saw the message and were still thinking about it.

But somehow it made sense to me to delete my profile because it felt like I could reverse time and maybe they saw it and were going to delete it but I wanted to delete myself first. What the actual heck! 

I think just the fact that they didn't respond right away felt like a strong rejection. I don't know why that makes sense, but it does. I just hate that they weren't excited? Even though ...ugh we ended things multiple times.

Dapple has rejected you multiple times. But this 11th hour attempt was what...going to change his mind? I think even though these interactions wound me deeply, I'm aware it's not that serious. So I think I still believe it's all fun and games because I know I'm harmless. I'm a cute girl and I'm fun. What's the worst that can happen if they just meet me? But somehow the wires get crossed when I actually act on this confidence. Weird brain. 

Japple...that was a long shot but I thought I would at least pique his curiosity. I guess not!

And yes, I didn't even wait a full week, I contacted the Mormon as well. Nada.

I don't know why I don't accept people's No. Is this what it's like to be an aggressive man? Sucks to be them. You're just so sure the person should respond positively to you, it's confusing when they don't. So you feel like you just have to present your case a different way. For once in my life, I'm glad I'm not a man. I would probably be labeled a predator. Ha!

And because I'm this way, I'm already plotting my next contact attempt. It just doesn't make sense, I'm all the way in Seattle, I want to meet these dudes. It shouldn't be that hard!

So yes, I did the thing. I got on a plane with no plan and I'm in Seattle.

The Seattle Dating App was such a total bust. Everything you read on the internet is false! The app is weird and not shiny like Hinge. I think so far, Hinge just wins for overall aesthetic appeal. I haven't found Dapple or Japple on any other apps which is a bit strange. I thought most people were on a few apps. 

Hinge was already a long shot because I've been on there so many times and not been in Seattle.

So the trip so far.

I met a woman in the airport who helped me get on the light rail from the airport to my crusty hotel. It was only $3! 

I thought I'd Uber but they were quoting me $50. You crazy!

I don't know if I'll take it back because it'll be dark. I'm willing to pay around $30, but fifty was way too much.  I'm also considering flying standby, but there is something nice about traveling at night because the chance of sleeping is higher.

So it's unlikely this is going to be the secret fairy tale I had in my mind. I think I had unspoken high hopes about meeting both Dapple and Japple. I can't believe they're not even a little bit curious! People really are different! Honestly, I'm always just stuck on the fact that anyone would rather be single than date me! Like, I just don't get it! 

Anyway, so far what have I done.

Oh big ups to having a cell phone. It does make things a little easier when plans change! It adds a little confidence booster.

Ok, so I have one potential drinks date that we're in the process of planning. The rest so far are duds.

Seattle - it seems much smaller when I'm actually on the ground. It hasn't quite captured my heart. I might go to a meetup if the date doesn't pan out tonight.

My "hotel" is more like an upscale hostel. Kinda cruddy with a weird smell. I hate smells. Makes it hard to sleep so I'm holding my breath half the time and that gives me a headache.

Already spent $20 to get a porkchop dish from Hmart, 4 pieces of fruit and some plasticware. Wow! 2 mandarins were $3.49. Totally didn't catch that!

Oh well. It's 9a EST but only 6a PST. So I've been up for about 2 hours. There was some loud shouting. I couldn't tell if it was coming from inside or outside the building. So yes, that's Day 0 or Day 1 in Seattle. 

What am I doing here again?