A 2 biscuit day

 So of course I woke up happy, like nothing even happened. I had another dream about being held hostage. There were guns but now the memory is fuzzy. I think there was a way to escape but it required jumping out of a high window. 

Somehow I don't think I was alone but I don't know who else could possible have been with me. 

I do kind of remember in the dream realizing it might be a dream and waking up and shaking it off like ugh, another dumb dream. So that's something.

I don't know anything anymore. I used to be so afraid of spilling my guts out on this blog because I so feared being found out but just like secret love, no one is "checking for me," as the young kids say. I could plot a master plan to take over the world and literally no one would care.

There's comfort in that actually. I feel freer to be myself.

Freedom is always a theme. Renewal, another constant theme of mine. Maybe I spend the rest of my life chasing freedom. We'll leave end of life plans for another day. 

Anyway, I woke up happy. Yesterday, even though I'm trying to wait till I land in Seattle, I did check some of the apps. I was actually about to delete OkCupid, but I had 2 messages so I was intrigued. They look dud-adjacent, but the goal is just to go on dates, so I engaged! 

I'm happy because I think the Hinge guys are probably tired of seeing my profile since I used to broadcast that I'm not local. 

I think I'll contact Dapple #whatDoIHaveToLose!

Japple is a maybe... he's a bit of a loose cannon, but it would be fun to Catfish him so I can figure out where he's going to be and find myself there. Too much? Too Lifetime? I mean, desperate times, friends, desperate times!

I'm actually excited to go. I thought I would regret this decision, and I still might - there's always time for bad feelings when you're me. 

But for now, I'm excited. I looked up the airport rules because I realize I feel like a novice traveler again. I downloaded Uber to hitch a ride. 

Because Seattle is cold and rainy, I could barely fit all my clothes into a carry-on because everything is so bulky. I had to trim down from 3 sweatshirts to 2. I just picture mostly rainy, cozy days and not feeling like doing much. So, we shall see. 

Of course, Nesting Brain is like... if I like this, is this something I could incorporate into my life post-FIRE. Since slow travel is all the rage, maybe my version could just be 1week- 3month stays to cool cities and I can get snippets of my Hot Girl City Life while returning to my humble abode when it's over. 

Oh well, the plot to take over the world is left for another day.

I think I just am happy that I don't have to sweat the day away working on my project! Putting in those extra hours last night really made today better! I don't have to stress that I might not finish.

The walk today was cancelled but it didn't even rain. It's a bit overcast and cool. Perfect walking day if you ask me, but I couldn't bring myself to go on the walk alone. I'm just not that motivated.

The place I'm staying in Seattle posted a local guide and so now I know the addresses to a few places and how far it is to walk. That got me strangely excited to be a Single Girl in the City. I watch too much TV!

Anyway, maybe I'll get to be different versions of myself this week. Or maybe I won't. No pressure!

And yes, as predicted, Mean Brain this morning crafted a whole romantic scenario whereby I send Mormon boy the following message:

It hurts me to know I may have hurt your feelings. I genuinely thought you weren't interested in me so wanted to cut my losses. 

(this would be sent with the aim to spark interest, and him ultimately confessing his undying love for me and we would live happily ever after!)

Laughable! Wake-up, Mean Brain, we do not live in a rom-com or a Hallmark movie! If anything, you live in a modern Lifetime movie where someone has to die! I live in a thriller where my captor is my brain. So silly. 

Next up: A love story vignette whereby he is now the Biggest Love of my Life. He's my everything, my last chance at happiness... you know the lies. I can't stop them, but I can surely name them. Next she will try telling me God wants me to do this. It's my last chance. This could be THE ONE! This is a Godsend especially since he's Mormon and all! Ha! Like God sends me things without an overwhelming dose of heartache and poison. 

I can't quiet Mean Brain, so maybe I'll talk back while I can but we know she's more powerful than me and will soon smack me back into submission. So I will taste this little bit of freedom while I can! 

It started with 2 biscuits at McDs. :)