Saturday Morning Musings

 I woke up with negative ruminations about Old Job. I'm hoping at some point I can get it all out and never talk about it again.

Musings

I wish I had just aired out all my grievances to Over Achiever. I suspect some stuff leaked to Old Boss so this might have been my chance to backdoor it in. These thoughts include:

- I quit because Old Buddy never did any work

- In their own special way, everyone on your team including you and your Favorite Friend have told me I don't do anything/ I don't know what I'm doing, so the transition should be seamless

 ---- I wish I had said this on the last team check-in

---- I wish I had said this in that email when you asked me for the third time who my manager is

- In the meeting with pseudo-mentor yesterday, I wish I had practiced my comeback. Darn it! I just didn't know how that was going to to go.  It would have been so nice to practice that lie. She mentioned looking up my name... I'm still not sure why. 

- If I don't add any value (your words and your actions vis a vis no promotion/raise), then why does my transition/ transition date bug you so much? Is it really about control that much?

- Also are you going to respond to Var's email? Has anyone even noticed the data isn't what we wanted to track? Is anyone going to follow up with Safety Team?

- So curious who they're going to hire? Will they be welcomed? Will they make a difference? Will it matter? 

- I wish I had gotten her to confirm at least acknowledge what I was feeling. I wish I had sent a follow-up email to Q2 discussions including my proposal of a Senior Manager role. I wish I had just gotten her to say the words or at least confirm them. Confirm the following:

--- You do not intend to raise my salary as of Q2?

--- You do not intend to create a new role for me?

--- The response to my proposal is a gentle no, right? (I did feel like she was casually trying to give me the responsibilities I proposed but without a promise of a new role.. shady.)

--- You recommend I seek another role right?

--- You and your team don't think I can do anything, right?

- Honestly I know the answers to my own questions. Old Buddy is as great as sliced bread.  Old Manager had no problem with her (and never will). She really was just that great (I was just going to lose my mind). Just like Bubbly Blondes. Sometimes people just like who they like. I was just the worker bee, and when I stopped wanting to be that, I could have been tossed to the side. No, she wasn't going to create a role for me.  SHE LITERALLY FORGOT WHO YOU EVEN WERE. THAT'S NOT A FRIEND, MERJ. ALL YOU SUSPECTED WAS CORRECT. IT WAS NEVER GOING TO BE YOU. 

Corporate Code I wish I knew a year ago

Filler words = words that mean nothing in BigCorp despite their definition; they add no value and have no meaning

You're amazing = Filler Word

That's amazing = Filler Word

Thank you so much! That's amazing = Filler Word

That was really helpful! Thank you so much = Filler Word

Wow = Filler Word

That was your biggest accomplishment = Filler Word

You did a great job = Filler Word

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