Saboteur!

 I obviously self-sabotage my own happiness. Yesterday was such a good day. I couldn't stop smiling. I got takeout. I watched TV. I took the trash out. I even stopped TWICE to get gas. Life was really looking up yesterday!

It was.

Then I did a few things to self-sabotage myself. I know the guardrails I have in place are to protect myself. Yet, I jump the fence at the first opportunity.

After quite ceremoniously deleting my Old Boss's Calendar yesterday because I was soooo over them, I promptly added it back this morning. In one version of the story, I wanted to see that they were eating my dust. 

They were not.

It seems some of my responsibilities have been shifted to Mediocre White Man. OMG! Is he about to get a promotion?

Notably, they haven't given any more responsibility to Dinosaur (or Old Buddy...just more meetings for her).

For whatever reason, there seems to be a lot more activity surrounding a project I was working on. Whoops. 

And then a Quarterly Business Review deck errantly landed in my inbox. I do not miss those days. But again it just makes me feel this is why we should've been Sr. Managers or ADs because the other department's managers don't have business review related functions. They're mostly people managers with 1 or 2 workstreams. 

Anyway, the strong feelings actually have passed since starting this post because I got distracted by some other work shenanigans. But this morning the emotional gut punch was when I saw Old Boss was meeting with Grand Boss. Magical Thinking immediately suggested that they were OF COURSE meeting about me to try to win me back. Dang, desperate much. This really feels like all the break-up love songs. Maybe just maybe they if they'd seen my face, they'd be reminded that for me, it wasn't over!

C'est la vie.