Monday 4p Check-In

 Well, I started writing this around 3:40p.

Today was an okay day.

What I did well:

- Worked on 2 training modules

- Did not over-achieve

- Break for Lunch

- Set my status to busy from 9a and plan to log-off at 5p

- Met with New Boss and although I got a little sweaty I didn't have the usual breakdown when I didn't know something; I am a little annoyed that sometimes communication breaks down but I'm just going to roll with it

Struggle Bus

- I kept Old Boss's Calendar checked and on the Outlook app there's a little ticker at the top that tracks her meetings... it's terrible... I guess it's just feeding into my obsession. 

- Overall today was a bad day in terms of Old Boss. The rejection renews itself everyday. Like- really we're not friends? I vacillated from I fully forgive you because I still completely adore and admire you to cold shoulder for life. I found myself wishing I'd confirmed - so from now on you just want us to be Business Critical only communications right? But her silence sort of confirms that. 

Two emails landed in my inbox related to Old Job. One was something I was expecting that week she was away -just an acknowledgement of an email related to a project I used to cover.  It was an email addressed to me and cc: Old Boss plus Mediocre White Man. She wrote back "Thank you!" to the sender. I read it as: I miss you (MERJ). Creepy, right?! What is wrong with me. I am reading between every line, every silence because when I close the door on this, it's closed for good. I don't want to make any mistakes before the vault is shut. But now that we've activated The Final Countdown, I'm overturning no stones.  I fully expect at least 2 more attempts to get my attention.  We shall see!

I've decided not to respond to emails that also include her to tell old colleagues I don't handle that project anymore. That's her team and her remit, she can do it. I always thought it was weird that the Other Over Achiever's Boss told her not to include me on an email because I was leaving. So, if that's the Department's way of doing it, Old Boss can do it herself then.

My heart skipped a beat in the meeting with New Boss when she was listing some players in a meeting I'm invited to on Wednesday. One of the players has the same name as Old Boss. I was like quoi?? But there's no way it would be her. 

Anyway, that's all for now. 

On the bright side, I'm basically turning this into what is now a 3 week vacation. Heyyyo! 

Oh, also, I'm half excited to see if I get any bites tomorrow on the 2 apps I put in over the weekend. Hehe.