Confessions of a Backslide and Notes on Being Replaced

 I was doing so well and felt so empowered, but in the Information Age it's hard to give up the creep! Humans are very nosy because let's be honest no one is really living their best life! No one! Social media would not exist if we were. 

So yes, I ceremoniously felt so empowered last night when I wrote my Perfect Comeback that I deleted Old Boss's calendar for the millionth time. 

Just a minute ago I added it back and was creepin like a jackal. I got to peep 2 reports that normally I would have had to run (not my job). I'm just amazed that this woman refuses to give My Old Buddy any more work!  Half the stuff I did I was told (white lies) that she was the subject matter expert on.  I am crying right now for my future self when I find out in Dec that she is the new AD. 

And they're going to make up all these accolades. Dang, I wasn't good enough but this girl that does no work, goes to meetings and offers no solutions is who you want to promote!  I mean it happened with Bubbles, so obviously I won't be surprised.

But yeah the white lies work 100% of the time because it will be nobody's decision but My Old Boss's.  I have to resist the urge to think if only I'd stayed 6 more months because I probably would've lost my mind for her to be promoted over me. Literally, lost my mind. I might have quit on the spot.  And who would that have hurt.

It is kind of cool to have this inside look into what your work looks like after you leave.

But yeah, I see the plan to backfill my role. Probably to relieve Old Buddy. I wonder if it'll be a white man. 

I'm feeling less adversarial today. 

I just don't see them hiring another manager without promoting someone for "carrying on these extra duties." Mind you I carried Old Buddy's extra duties for 3 months while she was out sick. 

I wish there was a way to know who they hire and to befriend her and get the inside scoop on what is said about me. 

I think I'm just still waiting for them to acknowledge I did a great job. But obviously, they had a year to tell me that and goose eggs. 

Sometimes I wonder had I not been so proactive about deactivating my access to things, if I would've been asked to pitch in. I'm glad I did. Although I'm backsliding now, that need to be needed or desired by her just wasn't enough for me to stay. It meant less after I started being taken advantage of. 

So yeah, I got to creep 2 reports and their accompanying meetings that Old Buddy is on, i.e. she's more of a wingman and more reason for her to do no work. So yeah, Old Buddy was the wingman and I was the enforcer. Unfortunately we were both getting paid to do work. 

As I'm reading old blogposts, it seems I've been unhappy with this job very early on. That's surprising to see it written out. 

OMG I just realized what this means. They're officially moving on! #daggers There goes the dream of being asked back in 6 months. Wow, I guess I was still holding on to that.

Like you really hate me that much? (Yes, see Cold Shoulder.) The work I did was so terrible?! (Yes, see basic bonus and a hard no on the raise/promotion request.) Wow. Literally you have a Dinosaur on the team who you complain about but me who at the very least was your reliable go-fer ... wow...  aye yi yi!

Replaced with a quickness. You really Love Old Buddy that much that you can't ask her to do just one more thing. So I was right all these things were a setup. The audit, the training. Wow.

They're the gatekeepers now. #Ineverknewyou

How am I still hurt when I made the decision to leave. Like I said, it didn't feel like my choice - I just couldn't go on there. Plus the return to work in Sept made me really anxious. I hate them.