I caved and invited Sean over to cuddle. There was some heavy breathing but no actual intercourse. I don't know what I'm doing, friend. I think he would've been content to just snuggle, honestly. It was all very PG, but I have such a negative narrative on men in my mind that I didn't know what to do.
So I pretty much took it to the next level. He was very nervous. It was all very weird and confusing.
I think because I know sometimes a FWB relationship can turn into something more, it's hard not to keep trying.
In the end, it was like two virgins seeing naked boobs for the first time.
He's sweet and weird and awkward and has basically been sexting me since 7a. It's almost 5p! He pretty much just recounts every detail from last night which I barely remember.
In short, he said PG cuddling and meant PG cuddling. He said PG cuddling, and I heard I want to get in your pants. And my brain said obviously if you do more, he will fall in love with you and live happily ever after.
This morning he's like I just want something casual. I like sexting you and hanging out but...lots of words to mean... I don't want to date you. So, yeah, when you know you know. He thinks he's going to get away with though.
And here I was thinking of extending my stay, I can't wait to get away from him. I don't know why I think I have to leave the state when I could just stop responding. Oh well. My goal is to not meet up with him again until Sunday. But honestly I'll probably give in to some extra cuddle time and probably still try to sleep with him. Old habits.
I'm planning on texting Dan before I go out tonight while I have a few hours of distraction and Sean giving me a lot of attention. That's all for now.
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