Is this mental warfare?

8a

 It's only been 2 days really since Slow Fade but I feel like I've been grieving for years. I'm so sick with disappointment, I could actually vomit.

My stomach is doing flips. 

I'll get through this week no problem, it's this upcoming Sunday I'm worried about.

I feel so powerless. There's nothing else I can do.

I can't believe this.

I know I'll get over this. I always do, but I won't like it.

I really feel drained. I've run mental marathons the last 3 days, that's how I feel. But where is the reprieve.

I'm torn between playing along, asking the question, or just deleting my number altogether.

I don't know what target to hit.

There will probably be many updates over the next few days.

I have to take my braids out.

It's literally the last thing I want to do.

How do I fast forward to the end.

I wish I knew for sure that I was going to spend my last 20 years alone. I mean, that's what it was like for my aunt and she was a much stronger believer than me.

I think just getting used to this life is what I have to deal with.

It's like a missing poster for Love (instead of a person). But there's no body, so you hold out hope you know. Have I found the body?