Saturday morning

 I had a bit of an adrenaline rush this morning! I actually "confronted" my neighbor, which for a non-confrontational person like me means asking him to move his dumb car that keeps blocking my driveway. I have no idea what next steps are when he parks his car in the same spot.

Well I did the thing. 

I finally got my debit cards for the new bank. In reading some fine print online, I keep finding more surprise fees - dormant fee and a $10 fee if you go over the 6 transactions you're allowed on a Savings account.

I know this is a federal thing but I've never been charged a fee for it. And when I read the fine print some more, the High Interest Checking is only with debit card transactions and I won't get that because I use my checking account mostly for Bill Pay.

I did make 5 cents on the $100 I have in savings which is more than I've made in my credit union's savings account which has more than a thousand dollars in it. So, I don't know.

I'm so used to spending weekends trying to solve or ruminate over money problems, it's just habit now even though I don't enjoy it the same way I did in the past.

I got a new bank bonus payout. So I'm up to $1500 for the year. Most of it was through credit card sign-up bonuses though. There aren't many bank bonuses I haven't done. 

I'm having a hard time forgetting about Slow Fade 2. I don't know why. I half-heartedly re-activated my Gmail account last night. But then I felt tempted to email the Mormon so I deleted it again. I want the Voice number to activate but it kept having an error message. 

I almost want to go Seattle just to spite myself - just be like see, stop thinking this is some paradise where you fall in love and live happily ever after. Nothing will be different here. 

I even looked up Slow Fade's phone number online, so I could contact him again if I wanted. You know, just forget about the part about him ghosting me essentially for 3 weeks. Somehow, things will be different this time! 

I surprisingly scarfed down 2 large breakfast sandwiches like they were 2 jelly beans. That's a first! 

I binge read Refinery 29's Money Diaries from time to time and it's making me think maybe I should do that to keep me busy and occupied this summer. 

I don't know. Writing about money at this stage is not that exciting. Just as I was laser focused on FIRE and all my decisions were grounded in that focus, all I can think about is being single and wanting a boyfriend. It is all I think about. Every encounter, interaction, smell, taste, food, thought somehow comes back to that.

I watch people fighting on TV, and I think, if that were me, I'd handle it a different way. Why isn't that me? 

I started chatting with someone new on Hinge on my train ride, and now that's keeping me from deleting the app. I really need a clean break but I like to torture myself it seems. I think I'm ready though. There's nothing left for me on the app. I spent 9 months (on and off) and didn't get very far. It would have been nice to even remain friends with some of these people but it's as though we never even met. 

What's that verse I like - I never knew you.