Well now I feel silly

OMG! I feel so silly for all those Feelings. I've always said it only feels like child abuse if you're the only one suffering. Talk to commiseration.

I ended up binge-reading some more Ask a Manager and stumbled upon this nugget. 

So why is it that so many people dread the prospect of quitting a job, even when the job has made them miserable and even when they’re leaving for something much better (higher pay, more interesting work)?

In part, I suspect it’s that work simply feels incredibly personal to us. All of the things that are supposed to be “just business”—how much we’re paid, what kind of recognition our projects get, how frequently the boss cancels meetings with us—actually feel like pointed reflections on our worth. We assume this runs both ways and that therefore when we choose to walk away from a job, we’re signaling a kind of personal rejection to and of others. Seen in that light, leaving a job feels less like a business decision to sell our labor to a different bidder and more akin to a breakup where we’re saying, “I no longer like you the same way I used to, and for some time now I’ve been planning to leave you.” Then throw in that we all want to think we’re indispensible and will be terribly difficult to replace, and we assume we’re delivering devastating news. And really, at some level, maybe we want it to be devastating. If an employer isn’t wrecked at losing us, how much did they ever really value us?

https://slate.com/human-interest/2018/05/is-it-normal-to-get-incredibly-nervous-about-telling-your-boss-youre-quitting.html

Literally, this.

To know that this isn't personally happening to me is incredibly liberating. She didn't attack me or reject me... that this is as normal as the sky makes feel incredibly silly.

I read so much into our interactions when really this is just a thing that happens.

Ugh, so she's the normal one. And just like that I love her again (not that I needed that much reason).

I MEAN I LITERALLY was so distraught over this. Like I could only see red. How could she do this to me? How could God let someone hurt me like this? I don't want to live in a world where this normal. Can you imagine how off the rocker I went! So far, so far! 

When it's really just Feelings.

When will I learn that the world has been around so long that I have yet to feel a Feeling that I'm the only one experiencing.

I feel incredibly unoriginal and actually freed a bit.

Kindness always pays. 

I definitely regret blowing her off. And I definitely regret disparaging her to a teammate. That wasn't fair.  While it was "true" in that that's how I felt, it was private. And if I didn't express it to her, then I wasn't a good friend by expressing it to someone else in hopes that it would get back to her. 

I don't care about saying it to my non-work mates, but I know intentionally said it to someone at work in hopes that she would hear about it. That wasn't nice. 

That's not on-brand for the person I want to be. 

Yay, at least we can be friends again!