OMG! I was up last night going through all the grievances of late. I don't know anymore whether I should get up and blog about it so it can get out of my mind or just lie there awake ruminating.
Grumbles of the day
My Maryland Aunt makes me so mad! She often gives terrible advice. But she's so pushy. I think I told y'all I had a leak from my toilet. And I wasn't sure what to do about it. Well, first things first - I needed to call a plumber to get it stopped. She was so adamant that I should do nothing without calling the insurance company. I mean like she like throws a tantrum. And when I try to have a dialogue about it she accuses me of only wanting to hear what I want to hear. Ugh, so a human. But it's like No, I need you to listen to me so we can have a conversation that is actually helpful.
Luckily, I knew better and had the plumber come out. But I called the insurance company anyway just to see what the experience would be. Of course I was right, they were like call a plumber and we can look into filing a claim for the damage the leak caused.
Somehow I found myself moving along with their process because based on her badgering I thought they would be able to determine whether or not the problem was solved - which is what my objective was. A contractor came out and made an estimate of $2500 to repair the ceiling. What?!
Anyway, I've been missing their calls and I just checked an email from 8/19 and apparently the insurance company is sending me a check for $1500 for repairs (I have a $1k deductible). I don't even know if the leak is truly solved because I really don't believe the plumber knew what the problem was.
I think I'm mostly mad that this will raise my homeowner's insurance premium which is already higher than my Maryland counterparts. I just pray it doesn't.
But now this raises an issue am I constantly going to be living in this anxious state of potential high dollar items if I reach FIRE??
Am I going from one pan of anxiety to a full fledged fire of anxiety (pun intended).
Maryland Aunty
I think I might put her on a quarterly check-in and maybe just go back to email where I can control the conversation. Every now and then she does offer perspective but for someone who is 20 years my senior her "advice" is spotty. That's what I want in my life -some wise counsel. Also, I've complained before that I get so little air time. I'm a ruminator. When I have an anxious problem, I want to talk about it to death. I called her a few times about Old Boss and she gave me 2 nuggets of good advice, but other than that it's been mostly frustrating. She doesn't listen to me! And she gets frustrated when I try to redirect her to better help me.
But again I'm always in this desperate place where I feel I have no option so I just take what I can get it - jobs, friendships, advice, cheap house.
I guess I'm in a mood today.
Moving to Maryland
And that's another thing, Maryland Aunty seems convinced that the answer to all my problems is moving to Maryland. I think the idea of my living independently in NC makes them feel bad. But logistically, moving doesn't make sense. I think there is this general sense that people should be near family, but I don't get what the benefits are to me? I mean right now my primary goal is financial independence and moving to Maryland definitely is out of sync with that goal. I don't know.. I don't think living near family has ever really been a goal of mine - which is why I let my Darling Aunty go without a care in the world. For my pragmatic brain, it's a case of what have you done for me lately. It definitely makes sense for people who are raising kids because you need help.
But everyone in Maryland has a family. My older aunties have their adult kids which I mean aren't really my friends. But that's where they all grew up; that's where their community is. My cousins are having babies and it's a pretty unquestionable thing to be "near family" when you're raising kids. I'm not raising kids. And then there're my cousins who are in their 20s and 30s. I'm definitely on the older end of the cousin spectrum. But they all have their own lives and are in relationships and having kids.
From my experience, people with kids don't have time for you.
Moving to Maryland doesn't really satisfy any of my needs. It doesn't make sense financially. Again, the reason I live in Cheap House in this hood-adjacent neighborhood is because without house issues, my housing cost is about $900/mon (which includes a 1% allowance for home repairs).
From a social standpoint, I don't have any strong relationships with my cousins. They're younger than me. And some of them have young kids. I mean I could be someone's cool cousin-auntie I guess, but that's not really how I see my life. And now that my destiny is gone, I'm done chasing rainbows.
I'm done begging people to make time for me, love me, choose me. You know that song. I've already seen this movie. It's why my Darling Aunty retired in Florida when all her siblings were in Maryland. She never really felt the belonging she craved. And I'm in the same scenario. When I like someone, I want to hang out with them all the time.
Even with phone calls people don't answer, they don't listen. Why would I move closer to be rejected in person.
I mean sure the 3 or 4 gatherings a year might be fun, but why would I live somewhere full time for 3 or 4 gatherings. And let's face it, it would just be me helping out while my aunties cackle and my cousins hang out with each other.
So yeah, it comes up now and then, but that's why I'm not moving to Maryland.
It sucks because those are the 2 big reasons everyone FIRES - to spend more time with family and to travel. The travel part makes no sense to me because you can definitely do that when you're older. And once you get to a good place financially, I feel like you can feel freer to actually take your vacations. And of the three call centers I've worked, one offered unlimited vacation time so I think there are options there other than reaching FIRE.
Money Highs
Well it looks like for August 2021 I only spent about $400! That is awesome. I've been eating out so much and been doing convenience shopping for groceries that I thought the number would be much higher! But that's it.
Utilities: Used to be just under $200, but with the increase in TV Essentials, it went over.
Food/Takeout: That includes all my trips to McDonald's and unplanned grocery trips for essentially snacks! A total of 18 this month... so that's pretty much every other day...whoops.
Auto: Gas fill up for my trips to McDs, takeout, and grocery store
Fees and Charges: Robo-Adviser broker fees. It's only a couple times a year and I've been thinking about moving it over to Broker 1 but then tabled that idea since I read some blogger actually keeps like 3 brokers. So I don't know.
That's it. No mortgage this month. That paperwork is coming for me to resume payments in October.
Also when looking for a utility bill for one of my Bank Bonuses, I noticed that Spectrum raised my TV Essentials rate by $5 so I've had past due payments for the last 3 months because my Bill Pay had been sending the old amount.
Anyway, I called with no hope of getting my bill reduced, but it did! For the last 2 years, I was told that the discounted internet was because I "bundled" TV Essentials. The rep I talked to today said I could take off TV Essentials ($20) and keep my promo internet price ($54). That's amazing!!
Totes made my day because I was definitely thinking of going down to a hotspot since my workload is pretty light right now. I wasn't sure how I was going to watch TV but maybe it would be a month of reading! Haha. But now I don't have to worry about it.
In other news, I tried again to move my Roth IRA CDs from Bank 1 to Broker 1. I'll give it another two weeks.
Money Woes
To meet the requirements of a Bank Bonus, I had $201 direct deposited to an account I just found out is locked. So now, I have to add tracking that money to my mental load. To unlock the account, they want me to email a copy of my SS card. You crazy? They'll take a Passport image, but I feel skeptical. Also, they said the direct deposit would be returned. I have no idea what that looks like!
Given our Big Corp HR, I have no idea where that money goes if it's returned. Also, I don't want my work flagged that I'm adding random bank accounts.
Part of me wants to pull the funds using an external account, but when I've done that for a locked account in the past, it froze the external account. I don't want any trouble!
So for the 4 Bank Bonuses I applied for, I think only 1 looks promising at this stage. I think I'm losing my touch. Womp, womp.
Also, did I tell you my Utility Bill went up. They are increasing the flat fees they charge us for access to the utilities. No words.
Work
I just want to actually say something good about work since I've been lamenting for a year. I made it a month with nothing bad happening. It was the best month! My workload was very light. It's so different here from what I can tell. There's no ALL HANDS ON DECK FOR EVERYTHING! Even a group chat I started only has gotten like 2 responses. I don't know if everyone is just sooo busy (highly doubt) or just not interested. But it's so different than my old department where everything was a conversation or meeting.
I've been doing pretty good with setting and maintaining low expectations. Since talking about money is still taboo in the workplace (who freaking knows why), I've let the thought of asking if a certification will result in a pay bump go for awhile. I want to ask because I'm only going to do it if I can get paid more. So for right now, I just won't do it.
Other things... the weekly orientation sessions with My Manager have decreased to just biweekly check-ins.
I've mastered Teams for appearing busy even though I'm away from my computer. For 3 weeks I thought I was appearing busy when I locked my computer - Nope.
There's a chance I might get a medium sized project to work on but I'm actually hoping I don't. Haha. If Overworked Me could see me now!
I was under the impression that our workload would be light for the rest of the year, but My Boss was making it seem like it might pick up. Not sure if she was speaking Office though.
Also, I'm proud of myself for not waiting for my title to officially change before sending a communication. Because it didn't. So only my boss and me know that I'm an "Associate Director." Mostly I just wanted to rub it in the face of my old team, but that's okay. Otherwise nothing really changes for me. Haha. Yes, petty, but also human.
Not to get too far ahead of myself, but if I actually learn this job, there is actually a lot of people who do it as contract work. So I think that's a good position to be in.
Oh also, I'm mostly calm about the thoughts of Old Roommate joining our team. Ugh. I see Caution Ahead but I'm trying not to pay it too much attention.
Other thoughts
But yeah, that's what was keeping me up at night - stupid insurance, mitigating bad advice, second guessing myself about Cheap House and moving to Maryland, some minor money woes.
Part of me wants to take a stay of communication from Work Frenemy and Maryland Aunty for the rest of the year, but I think I might just try to stick to e-communication so I can have more control.
I think I might just blog more too.
Taste of FIRE
Also, this light month of work felt like it would be a taste of FIRE which has me slightly concerned because I'm no more inclined to do my household and personal chores. I don't think it's quite FIRE because I am sort of just waiting for my workload to pick up so it's an unknown and makes me feel like I have to take advantage of the free time by doing NOTHING.
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