Wednesday 6p

 I am obviously anxious about something but I don't know what. 

Is it interacting with my Frenemy? My Maryland Aunty?

Maybe it's just adjusting to my new work schedule. I went from a 6 hours of meeting and 8 hours of work, i.e. the 60-80 hour work week with WAY TOO MUCH INTERACTION to essentially crickets. I get an email maybe every other day.

I'm not an agent on the phones anymore so I'm not using my voice.

Apparently I cancelled TV Essentials not thinking I'd paid up until the 7th of this month and will need ALL the TV options given the upcoming holiday. It's way too much hassle to call them back and push back the cancel date. I hope I get a refund but won't hold my breath.

I'm tempted to go to McDonald's eventhough I'm not hungry just to have something to do. 

I even did 2 loads of dishes within the last 7 days. Unheard of!

I might actually start stretching.

I wish I knew how long this much freetime was going to last. 

I have the perfect job for an active social life or other extracurricular interests. Yet, I have none. 

This makes me hopeful in the longterm but a little restless in the short term. I logged onto the computer because I couldn't find any TV show to hold my interest.

Maybe I'll take a walk. I've been binging blogs and am a little bored of them at the moment. 

Maybe I'll just take a 5 min stroll to the mailboxes. 

Things that happened today:

- Did a bunch of money errands today

- Got accepted to 2 new banks for Bank Bonus

- Still locked out of 1

- Figured out all the tasks I have to do for the New Bank Bonuses

- Figured out Insurance stuff

- Not today, but this week I went ahead and moved money to that new High Yield Account I discovered. The rules are little complex but I just went with it.  The account they were sitting in was just at about 0.5%. I  mean it's not a huge deal, more of a good to great scenario and I had the time. So we shall see.

In all my down time, I thought more about consolidating my accounts. I keep going back to using target date funds for my retirement accounts and doing VTSAX or the Fidelity version of it for non-retirement accounts.  For the most part, I'm still okay with having a couple different brokers although I'd prefer two.

Part of me is like weren't you just trying to get rid of one of your checking/ savings accounts? Why did you just open a new one! I think I just wanted to take an overt step toward my FIRE plan. Like this account is intended purely for Phase 3 of my FIRE runway - hoard 1 year's expenses in cash.  So that started to make it feel real.

I have mixed feelings I can't share about FIRE with anyone because no one really cares about my FIRE goals. I mean full stop - no one really cares.  

A part of me is like... ugh...it might take a full year to learn this job and in the back of my mind I'm planning to FIRE! Or at least hoping to. I don't have quite the hutzpah as some of the other bloggers that I can actually say this out loud. But there is a distinct possibility I could walk away from this job just after finally getting my feet wet. 

I've been having trouble taking a deep breath. This usually means I've been overeating or eating poorly.  And it's about the only other thing I can think to do to pass the next 6 hours away.

Yeah, I really want to be intentional over the next 4 months and lean into this free time. I got to get used to spending time with myself 24/7 with no work entanglements or old friends/flings.  This will be hard. 

I will have to find new outlets other than gossip. And TV and overeating.  But mostly gossip. 

Oh the other thing I have to figure out, this being a money blog and all, is what to do with my couple hundred dollars of FSA money! Wait we could increase our FSA... could we have decreased it and I just missed that! Oh boy. Anyway, I initially was thinking of just doing some therapy sessions - because why not. But I don't even have anything to say. Let's see how this month goes. 

Other than that, there's a massager I might get but that's like maybe 20 or 40 bucks. I really wanted to get physical therapy on my shoulder and bum, but with COVID resurgence that doesn't sound like the best idea.

See a lot of new fears keep popping up. Now I'm deathly afraid of getting sick and no one to take care of me.  I'm just so focused on carrying out the next phase of my life that any little detour threatens to be a high source of stress.