We Were Never Friends and Happiness Myths

 Unequivocally, my boss and I were never friends. No, Ifs, Ands, or Buts about it. 

There's nothing else to be said. 

In other news, halfway through my fish and rice from this morning, I realized I'd ordered a meat pocket and did not get it. I did not return for it. Meh. The next biggest decision for today is whether I want to finish my Jimmy John's sandwich.

Short of any other daydream, I've been trying to fight the daydream of Big Job.

In one version of the story, of course I didn't get picked the first time around. God was just priming them for me and me for them. There was a woman named Amber I met on the interview that I didn't think I'd get along with. Now she has changed roles or so says LinkedIn. And I would have had to move to a HCOL area and lived with roommates. Now, I don't have to do that. The job is open to Remote. Amber is gone. And I have a lot more experience with the inner workings of a Call Center.  Maybe, those 2 years would have been so horrible that I wouldn't have lasted long enough to make it to Sr. Manager and then where what would I be?

How do we influence the future for others, I wonder.

In the other version of the story, nothing else happens with Big Job and I'm perfectly find staying in retirement from life as a Call Center Manager. 

All in all today was a good day. One of my letters got posted and I got some good advice. I loved interacting with anonymous people online. I liked feeling heard and being able to say, nope, this is actually what I meant. It was another case of being chosen, and it was awesome! 

 I napped drowsily most of the day and nothing bad happened as of 7p.  

I read some articles on the myth of happiness. There was some new things I had not considered.  They basically said, eventually you get over things. Hedonic adaptation. Good things eventually level out and bad things too. Given my forgotten review of all the "bad things" of last year, I guess that's true. ...until the next bad thing. 

They said even in marriages, the high only statistically lasts about 2 years. They said monogamy is essentially difficult to sustain because all the humans love new things. Variety and novelty = dopamine highs, just like drugs. 

Long term passion is a myth. After that you just become companions, like after the stated 2 years.  They actually said women lose interest in sex because it stops being novel.  Hilarious. So it's actually men that need to try harder to keep their partners interested but somehow society has twisted this to fall on the woman. The Patriarchy always wins. 

The humans like surprise. Not necessarily like a surprise party...but like the surprise of something new.  Also remember that novelty is not the same as variety. So a movie night is not really a novelty even if you watch a new movie every time. 

The relationship things were interesting but less relevant for this stage in my life. 

Basically for me, it's more evidence of the arrival fallacy. The feeling of what now? is actually expected. The journey was actually the point. Because once you reach that peak, that high levels out. But don't mistake that for an actual low.  (I make that mistake a lot and struggled with it during 4 years at Call Center #1 when I didn't feel particularly inclined to leave (but felt stuck) or when I started my FIRE journey.)

For me, the lesson was it's okay to enjoy the view and reminisce on the journey. You don't have to keep chasing the next thing to be happy. I mean I guess there's nothing wrong with that. Just don't mistake the plateau for unhappiness.  That really is all there is unless you want to keep chasing the next high.

I guess for me... you can expand your view point and try different journeys if you still want that high. 

But this feeling of meh... is actually just life.  For the question, is this all there is? For me, the answer is YES.

I think that's why people enjoy raising children. There is probably an intrinsic high because everything is new when you're raising kids. That novelty is continuously getting renewed. That's just my observation. It's a constant journey.  

But I guess it's not universal because some people skip out on their own kids all the time, so who knows. But everyone's journey is different. You know, humans.

Anyway, I'm diverging a bit.

So I guess, said all that to say - I have another tool to sharpen my perspective on this here life. I want to chase this Big Job because it's a little exciting. But whether I get there or not, my feelings will re-calibrate. 

I hope I get there (there I said it).