Friday Happened

 Life is better when you're happy! Yesterday was a great day. I like talking about it after the fact because no one can take it away from me.

There was a little snafoo of ghosts past but they get no more than a casual mention.

I persisted.

I did something in the morning that I don't remember. I think there was a meeting or two. I ran some errands online. Moved some money. There are some things I'm doing symbolically to solidify this pre-FIRE milestone. I talked about most of it yesterday. For example, moving all the money from Bank 1 to Cash Stash account just so it can symbolically be there in full. Then when I start churning bank bonuses, some of that money is going back in Bank 1. But I just want everything in its place before moving on. I just checked my balance app am I'm at $495k!!! That's the closest I've been on paper. 

At its highest my benchmark 401k from Call Center 1 was at $106k last year. It got to as low as $93k this year. Now it's back up to $99k. That is really close to where it started at $100k when the plan changed hands. So once it gets back to $106k, my aim is to lock in those numbers and move target date funds to index funds.  That will be my culmination event. 

I don't even want to think about what I will do to celebrate. Do I tell anyone? I'd originally planned to tell my mommy doctor friend because she's just one friend I've never felt competition with in any way, shape, or form. 

Anyway, it's just good to see my numbers go back up. I was prepared to not see them go back up until near the end of the year. 

Anyway that was this morning. 

Yesterday was the topic of the post.

I had my counselor appointment. We talked about anxiety, some feelings of rejection and abandonment.  I don't think I feel all those things. I'm still trying to understand why it irks me when people don't respond right away.  I think part of it is because people say "I'll get back to you" to mean they will call you back or to mean they'll never call you back. I hate that ambiguity. I shouldn't have to figure it out. 

I went to a nature walk with a Meetup group. Which I'm really proud of. It was with mostly retired ladies but there was a girl there younger than me with 2 kids. The ladies were really nice and the weather was sunny but not too hot. One older lady gave me her business card and that inspired me to reach out to two other people in the group and gave them my  number. I gotta start somewhere. 

I was so motivated after that, that I went to another meetup group for yoga. I was the only brown girl there. It's been so long since that happened that I was actually shocked. But because it was yoga and beer, there were some  alternative characters there.

Feeling like I had nothing to lose, I said Hi to the girl next to me eventhough she was actively trying not to look in my direction. We chatted casually and that got the attention of another girl passing by and I ended up with their phone numbers. Go me! I haven't done that in a while. Thanks to that old lady for making it seem like a thing I could do!

Then another couple said they were going to climb and let me tag along. It turns out bouldering is a thing. It's when you indoor rock climb without a partner belay. It was hard! I thought I could rock climb, but I can tell you, friends, I cannot. But it was actually fun to try.

It was so low key and there were other colored people at the gym that I even considered getting a gym membership. It would be about $120. I'd have to go about 10 to 12 times to make it worth it. 

I even considered getting a membership to the botanical garden which would be $40. I'd have to go 4 times to make it worth it. But I could see myself spending 4 lunch breaks there.

Then I wanted some Asian food but couldn't find what I wanted so ended up spending almost $20 at Food Lion to get shaved beef which is now $8, some jarred sauce $4+ and chocolates $4. I went for some terriyaki sauce that was $2.50 but saw the $4 sauce that looked darker and smokier. It was darker and smokier and I used quite a bit too much. A little goes a long way. After the yoga event, I almost went back to get the $2 sauce just because I already know how much to use. 

The thing I learned about dating apps. I decided to change my perspective. I realized the apps were just a place to meet people. Sometimes I let things take up too much space in my mind! It's just like going to a meetup or church or a bar or work. It wasn't going to be THE place I meet someone. It's a conduit to increase the number of people I meet. I think what I realized in the context of Carefree Katie is that the apps is the place I'm least likely to meet a romantic partner, but it's still a place. 

Just like Yoga and Beer in a military town. People there like to drink and smoke and get tattoos. It's not a referendum on me or them. It's just not where I'm Most Likely to meet my kind of friends or a romantic partner.

So the current runnings for the new name of Death House is Beach House, My House, Beach Cabin, Beach Shanty.

I think meeting people in the Old Ladies group who had moved here to retire helped remind me that's what I did too. It was just nice to hear and help validate my choice. 

So it was a pricey day because I bought my first $4/gal gas in my town. So about $80 in one day. The spending keeps going.

A friend of a co-worker encouraged me to go on some speed dating events so I'd like to try some this weekend. There are quite a few potential events this weekend that I'm thinking through. There are some in so many cities, I'm not sure what to do. I guess again statistically, DC is probably more likely to have single people my age than NC. 

I have some brewing thoughts about work stuff. A work colleague has been offered a job at $189k plus bonus and stock options. She's a go-getter and interviews well. 

It tickles my ambitious fantasy.

I hate that I can't celebrate my FIRE milestones outloud. I hate that ultimately, everyone that's still working will surpass me in earnings and net worth. I just hate that I never feel like I won at life.

It's all just a self-congratulatory win. And it will have to be okay.