Instead of a burrito

 I actually slept until almost 9a today which is a welcome cry from the 7a meeting times earlier this week. There was a nice rain storm in the middle of the night that awakened me but only briefly.

I've been having some weird dreams. I'm still so undecided about dating and the apps. I thought I was supposed to be done with dating at the end of Dec 2021. How did I end up back here?

It occurred to me that I could just use Bumble since I'm at least getting likes on there, albeit low quality. 

But I thought I'd already arrived that low quality matches weren't worth the risk of burnout. Why am I wasting my time with that. There really is no benefit and the risk is being treated poorly and rejection.

I finally donated to Ukraine efforts. Google made it easy. I did $15 and they matched my donation. I made it a little hard because I had to end up logging in on an account that already had my information. 

Work had made it easy as well but they didn't take all major credit cards. Oh well.

Then magically, the Food Bank was looking for people for next Monday and Tuesday. I was free Monday, so I signed up. I really hope I can get something more regular down. That was the experience I was going for. Structure is where I function best.

I'm trying to make my mind up about Softball. It was raining earlier but it's not supposed to rain the rest of the day. But we're starting practice late. So I don't know if I should go. Like most things in my life, I want to make a decision now and plan accordingly. 

Instead of a burrito last night, I bought a month of Paramount+. I watched the rest of the episodes of Amazing Race. 

I'm trying to do day by day, sometimes minute by minute the things that make me happy. I think it's the first time in a long time (not counting COVID) that I've had to force myself to get through my birthday month. 

I mostly just read through other people's blogs. What did I do before blogs?

Why does it still bug me when people don't answer my calls or texts or emails right away? 

Back to dating and the apps. I think I wrote last night in my bedside journal that if it was making me feel all these unpleasant feelings, I might just step down over the next few weeks and end at the end of the month.