Tues, Nov 8, 2022, Today is Aunty MERJ's birthday

 Dear Diary,

I went to indoor pickleball yesterday. I was beginning to like it then I saw how good some of these people were and I felt less motivated to play.

I haven't been eating well- mostly chips and candy.

I messaged Dan yesterday and luckily he responded. Decided to send the password off to a friend to prevent my messaging him again until 2023. 

I always think I can handle the fallout of sending a rogue message to a boy I'm interested in. Unequivocally, I never am.

I am surprisingly okay with not being in Seattle right now. When I took a look at the temps yesterday, the low was in the freezing temps.

Sean has turned out to be a bad guy. He reminds me of Jamie of last year. Where I keep thinking if I say the right words, it will soothe their hurt feelings and they'll realize I'm the one in their corner forever. He sent me a pretty nasty message. I'm trying not to respond until I at least talk to my female counselor today. And I hope to be able to wait until I talk to my male counselor tomorrow.

I thought sharing more of my timeline would help calm his nerves but it just made things worse. The fantasy fight in my mind was going to be more romantic but now it just feels bad. 

It's been a week since I've been back and I think I'm just kind of over Seattle at this point.

I have this week of low work and part of next week, then I have to really get busy. 

Oh well, the more the year winds down and I feel empty handed in the love department, the more despondent I feel myself getting. Oh well.

A lot of Christmas movies keep popping up in my feeds, so I'll need to make a plan to try to watch at least 1. Maybe it'll be my after 9p show. Falling asleep around 11p gives me a better chance of sleeping through the night. 

Debating whether to go to breakfast with the old ladies today. It is something my aunt would enjoy and today is her day. So maybe I will just for the fun of it. 

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