One hamburger is enough

 The price of hamburgers changed at MacDonald's. It was 0.99 cents when I moved here in March 2020 and now in Nov 2022, one hamburger is $1.39.

The app also used to let you get free Large Fries with a $1 purchase. So after the hamburger price went up to $1.19 I would get a hamburger and large fries for about $1.39 with tax.

Now the deal is free large fries with $2 purchase. So not quite 1 hamburger. The other deal is $1 Large Fries, no other purchase required.

The better deal seems to be 2 hamburgers and the free Large Fries which with tax comes in at $3 even. 

But 2 hamburgers is just a bit too much. It's not exactly super nutritious. And although I've been enjoying the regularity of knowing what I can get for lunch, I'm not sure this is a meal I should be eating daily. 

I might skip to no more than 3 days a week. (Weekends don't count.)

So even though it's not a good of a deal, I think I'll stick to the $1 Large Fries and regular priced hamburger which is about $2.58 with tax. That's more than a dollar increase from my old total.

But one hamburger is enough. Fast food is not meant to be a daily occurrence in my opinion anyway, not just for your wallet but your waistline and health.

Anyway, accomplishments:

- Woke up at 8a for a meeting

- Finally messaged Meghan (no surprise she never texted me)

- Sent required paperwork to new bank to change name

- Completed last CE for license

- Completed and paid for renewal for pharmacy license!!!

- Waited until after appointment today with Counselor Mark before responding to Sean. I literally had 2 professionals help me craft a text to a boy. This is my life now. They had two different approaches. They both agreed that a response (vs no response) was better. For different reasons. Katie said I should say what I want and acknowledge my own hurt feelings. Mark said don't feed into it and just focus on the positive.  But they said I needed to acknowledge his hurt feelings, which I agreed to and date. They both asked what I wanted and to include a willingness to continue the relationship.

I could probably have sat with their feedback a bit longer but my anxious spirit wanted to just send off the response after a couple iterations.

Although it's a bit painstaking waiting for a response, it's a world of difference having their support. I don't have the angst of feeling like I should/ shouldn't. They said I should! It's nice to know, whatever the outcome I can share it with Counselor Mark next week.  Whatever the outcome, it's just nice to know I didn't do anything "wrong." Which is where I always get stuck. I had guidance and feedback and encouragement. It makes a difference, friends! It makes a difference! 

Even in my angst, instead of preparing for worst case scenario (which is still possible), I felt hopeful. I began to daydream of an immediate future with Sean. I imagined him contacting me when he was ready. Some fun texts. Some check-ins. Some flirting. I imagined a trip before next summer to rendezvous (not likely because I don't think he's much of a traveler), but it would be nice. 

I imagined being loved and taken care of, even if slower than my timeline. I just imagined being loved and looked after and someone checking on me and promising to be there. I keep thinking about what the book says, go for the guy that gives you 51% of what you're looking for. That's pretty much everyone I've "talked" to over the last year. 

Sean is nowhere near 100% of what I want but is solidly more than 51% of what I'm looking for - especially considering my baseline is just - nice to me and wants to hang out with me.

I think the help of the counselors just helps me to stop questioning if I made the right move. Did I interpret the situation correctly?

It's like having someone to share the burden with. I see why family and friends can be important. I did this healthy thing. This shared burden... is this what a relationship with God is supposed to be like?