I hope you didn't come on here thinking anyone had made a sweeping grand gesture for me. C'mon now, you know better. It hasn't happened in #almost40 years; it certainly wasn't about to happen now.
So as you may know, today, Dec 15, 2021 was to be my last day on the apps. I kept thinking of how I would go. Well long story short, after Mean Brain threatened that I would die alone and that nothing I've done has ever worked, I decided to do the thing I've always done.
After being rejected by a guy, I double down. Oh you don't want to go on a date with me, well how about we just get married instead.
So yep, after telling myself I'd matured and I was better than this, this morning at 5a I decided to message 3 guys I had any sort of rapport with. (And by message, I mean delete my profile and start all over so I can re-match with them.)
Apple - was a guy in his 50s or 60s that we'd messaged for weeks. It was honestly pretty tame and then I offered to go over there and then 2 days later he unmatched me. Goal there: friends, no benefits.
Dapple - was a guy my age and we messaged for a couple days. He asked me out to coffee but he's one of the Seattle guys so that wasn't going to work. Once I pointed out the distance, he said pass, but I countered with let me be your wing woman. When he didn't respond quickly enough to follow-up messages, I unmatched him because I obviously wanted to be his more than friend. Goal there: friends with potential for relationship.
Japple - the guy I think could be my future domestic abuser or my long lost love. After having a nightmare about him I explained where I was. He unmatched me. But that obviously made me want him more. Cuz well, I'm a human and deeply flawed. Goal there: forever love (and preferably not murdered)
What I did do better? Well, I wanted to do this messaging at 5a but I said your worst ideas come at night, so wait till morning. So I waited till 8a to see if I could find something else to do with my time.
I'm happy I waited. But I'm going to go through with it anyway. What's the worse that could happen? I never hear from them? Oh, wait, that's already happening.
Plus, I was watching the Hulu version of Four Weddings and a Funeral and watching rom-coms always lead to my worst ideas for relationships. So does reading stuff on the internet and anecdotes from girlfriends. Girls always sacrifice in these relationships. Every single person I know has sacrificed something to be with a guy. I guess that's just the game. So, as the Mo Willems children's book goes... Can I Play Too?
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