Hinge Dating Stats: MERJ Vs Carefree Katie (An Online Dating Story)

 Hey, friends!

This post has been written in my mind so many times. I don't know what the angle is other than a brain dump. There's just so much to say, but nothing new that hasn't been said. 

I used to pour over dating articles and recently discovered the Hinge App section on Reddit. There's also a Reddit for Online Dating in general and Dating in your 30s. 

It's all nonsense.

The only secret to successful dating is being the standard of beauty. I think I posted before how starkly different the experience was. As Carefree Katie, the thin white, blonde standard of beauty, I never have to wonder. I get the double text. I get asked out in the initial message. I get asked out when I'm clearly (at least clear to me) not interested. I get asked out with one word answers to their questions. I get asked out after no rapport has been established. I get asked out after bad behavior. They just keep coming back for more. I wish I would've taken snapshots of some of the soliloquies I received on why we would be a good match and I should definitely go on a date with them - coffee, skiing, drinks, dinner. All of it! 

It's so easy to be confident when you literally have 126 other people asking you out on dates. It's easy to be choosy. It's easy to be selective. It's easy to have boundaries. It's easier not to be assaulted because you can reject every red flag. 

You don't even have to be interesting. It's the proof we all know but refuse to believe. In our modern society, when dating guys, it's 100% looks. No matter what they tell you publicly. I guess for me, unless you're actually a killer, how bad can your personality really be. You will get dates; you will be in relationships if you are considered pretty enough by the masses. 

I will say just to even things out by like 1%... I would say of the first 100 matches, there were probably 10 or so that I invited to Start the Chat that have yet to respond. And response time is not always as meaningful as I thought it was. I got roses and large compliments from people who took 1 to 3 days to respond after we matched. So genuinely some people aren't on their phones/ checking the app all day. Yes, they do have lives. But it really is rare. 

As Carefree Katie, I have received no rude or lewd comments. No one has propositioned me or even been slightly R rated. But I will say even as myself, I didn't experience that in Seattle. That was definitely a Raleigh and DC area phenomenon. 

Because it's way more believable and impactful when you have "receipts" here's what I was able to pull together. It's low effort because I didn't want to go through the trouble of blurring out a bunch of stuff.

Our profiles were created on the same day, here are the HUNDREDS of matches that Carefree Kate received:

My phone was pinging non-stop as Carefree Kate. I had to turn off notifications.

Notice 130+ "Hidden" convos within the first 24-48 hours.  All were requests for dates

So yes, as I stated. Within 24 to 48 hours, I had at least 200+ likes. The Hidden conversations are just those I got around to match to initiate conversation.  I had over 100 within the first hour easily. 

Realistically, how would a person even go about filtering through this for dates? 

Here's a screenshot of how low-effort Carefree Katie has to be to get a date.  This is not even including the ones that ask for a date in the opening comment.

Low effort convos as Carefree Kate that still convert to date requests.

As myself, I think and think on the right thing to say. How do I temper my interest and still be cute and bubbly but not too available. Yet not too aloof that they lose interest. For me, it's a little freeing because it almost seems like what I do is pointless. I'm just the girl they have to settle for because Katie doesn't want to date them. 

I'm tired of having to work harder for an experience other people get freely. It's like in every aspect of my life it seems.

So here's my stats over the same time period. Me as myself. 

So 6 conversations (Hidden) and 5 likes. No requests for dates.

In my eyes, I'm cute and fun and funny. I have a great job and a great personality. I think these are things I look for in a guy but really all they're looking for is the current standard of beauty. What do you even do with that?