Spending more money, giving up, and standing still

 Yep, I dropped $150 today at the hair salon for a $45 shampoo and blow dry. My hair was a tangled mess. The 1.5 hour appointment turned into 5 hours!

I didn't get a chance to make it to Chase and try to open the savings account. Oh well, there goes $900.

Right now, I just can't care enough.

Texted Dan last night. Luckily, he was mildly responsive. I asked to email him, and he said "of course". We were talking about iBonds, so nothing flirty. Thinking I'll just write as though I'm writing a work colleague. 

Was disappointed with a myriad of feelings:

BrainLie#1: obviously, he just needed to be reminded of you and then he'd fall madly in love with you and you would live together forever

BrainLie#2: He would be so happy you reached out and would gush; didn't even ask how I've been. 

BrainLie#3: Even if the first 2 aren't true, you know you didn't need to reach out. But maybe you can work on cultivating a friendship or building an emotional connection over the next 1-2 years, which will subsequently lead to him falling in love with you and living happily ever after. So, it was right to text him. Because love-magic doesn't exist. So you need to constantly remind him of you...and thus ensue a lifetime of insecurity that once you're out of mind, you will be forgotten. Great start, Brain.

So there's that.

Also, I've been putting expenses on 3 cards at this point, so I'm losing track. Thinking more about using a credit card with a $500 limit (and some cashback) as my allowance card. I really would feel better if Bank had alerts.

All these bonuses and not bonuses are making me anxious. I'm not applying or following up with anything else. Maybe, just maybe, I'll apply for Chase savings again.

But oh well if I don't.

I'm tired.

Luckily, I was able to successfully open another one today. Had to go in branch, but it worked out because the in-branch promo was $300 instead of the online $275. And the bank guy offered it proactively. Win!

Just checked US Bank and all my accounts disappeared. So that was a bust. A bit of a longshot anyway. Let's see if they refund my money.

For the most part, I just want to bury my head in the sand for a bit.

Friday - Arbys

Saturday - 1/2 cinnamon roll and scrambled eggs with Spam; might make cupcakes

Sunday - get Prime or Discovery Plus free trial

I'm tired of thinking and plotting and planning.