A deep case of the doldrums

 I find myself in a sour mood.

Maybe I'm sugar-deprived.

I'm certainly not hungry. I've been eating a lot to finish all the food I brought.

I feel a bit on edge.

What will I eat today. It's Monday around 3a.

I have absolutely no work.

This is what I always thought would be the coolest. But with no one to congratulate me, it feels not so cool anymore.

I'm really proud of my Catalyze points. Hate that I shared it with Frenemy and it was dismissed. Grr.

Coughing woke me up, but also my bad mood.

Am I too full?

Why is life so darn hard.

Why do you have to "work" at it.

When has anyone ever been forced to eat an ice-cream sundae.

People have ice-cream eating contests for goodness sake.

And this darn dishwasher is possessed. It chimes all day and all night!

Grrr!

I have so many rules. I just want to lay down and close my eyes for a while.... a long while.

I wish Dan would just message me and put me out of my misery!

How do I live?

What do I do with all this free time.

Maybe I just slink into it, instead of thinking it's going away or I need to capitalize on it. Maybe that's too much pressure.

I just power through it like everything else in life.

I read an article about being in nature. 

20 minutes a day, 3x a week

Then semi-wild nature 5 hours a month

And wild, wild, off the grid nature, 3 days a year.

Max happiness.

I can do this! Then immediately felt overwhelmed.

Why are there so many rules for max happiness.

Max happiness should be the default. It should be really, really, hard to NOT achieve max happiness instead of the other way around.

I know if I tell White Male Therapist, he'll say the answer is anti-depressant. Wrong.

Maybe I'll add White Female Therapist back to the rota.  Maybe for a month or two.


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