Retraumatized by my therapist

 This sucks. I know I've been having some weird feelings about talking about race with my therapist. But I thought he's my therapist, it shouldn't be weird.

So I persisted. Katie Therapist had made me feel so validated and seen and heard and I was motivated to make this move.

And then I talk to this guy and I'm just back to being confused again. 

I've been thinking of ditching this guy and now I feel even more like that's what I should do. 

I just feel like the wind has been knocked out of my sails.

I'm right back to where I felt in 2015, and I had made such progress in the last 2 days. I just took a call with a potential home buyer company. That's how motivated I was.

Now I'm back to being confused. I almost feel like my therapist should pay me. 

I looked back at the progress I was making with the EAP lady, and I want her back. I sent her a message, but I know it's a long shot because she's not licensed in my state. 

What she really helped with is understanding what I was feeling.