Just checking in

 So I waited until today as my brain is a fickle companion. I checked AA to make sure flights were still the same price. They were... a little bit up.

Then I went to Zeus to look at lodging. Wouldn't you know, the place I had my eye on has been scooped up. Overnight. It was there yesterday and all the weeks before, but alas. Oh well.

Strangely, I wasn't that bummed by it.

These days, I'm strangely unaffected by some things. 

I've been in such turmoil over deciding what to do next that I decided to put all that thinking and decision making on pause for the month of April.

I'm 99% confident I'll have a light workload for April, so thought it'd be nice to jump a few states and get out of the house.

Oh well. Spending too much time thinking about it was making it lose its appeal anyway.

Even though I'm winding down on the emotional turmoil of moving to Philly, I'm still trying to drill down on what exactly the issue or question is...

Boils down to this, I think..

Fact: I have bought and paid for my life in Death House in NC. If I lose my job, I can sustain my basic existence forever. Yay.

Am I willing to disregard that to chase a different lifestyle in a new city? (most risky)

Do I just live my current lifestyle and flex up as able? (least risky)

Other thoughts that mitigate or aggregate the two sides:

- Wait till you're more emotionally stable; the recent melt down shows you're not.

- Or given that you've prepaid for a year of therapy, might as well make the change while you have the support. 

- It might just make financial (and thus emotional) sense, to just wait and see how things shape up when you reach 1 million dollars. 

But will I be even more risk averse at 1 mill and not want to spend down at 6%? 

Who can say?

What am I even chasing?

I thought this year was supposed to be simple, just follow your checklist. Your only goal this year was to: LIVE.

The rest is just noise. Stop the noise!