Friday, Friday! (More Interviews)

 Last night was rough. It was hot and stormy. I see now what trees do. I live pretty much in an open field and when the wind blows it makes a lot of noise. A lot. There are no trees to serve as windbreakers.

There was a lot of wind last night. I was up with that. The heat. I really need to get a ceiling fan! Just ruminating on my decision to blast Slow Fade over text. At around 12 midnight, I habitually woke up to check messages. But alas, I deleted that Google Voice number and there was nothing to check. 

I definitely wish I had waited. I even tried to walk myself through my trigger checklist that night but I couldn't be stopped. 

Admittedly, yesterday I thought about texting or calling just to get his attention. I was going to pretend I was staying with a friend who thought it was a funny joke, then apologize. And of course magically, we'd fall in love and be together again.

As I feared, even breadcrumbs are better than nothing unfortunately.

Well, the 2nd job wants to move forward with the interview process. I don't know which one is worse 5 individual interviews or one long one with scripted behavioral based questions. 

When I saw the email, I lost my mind once more and added the Voice number back. I snipped a screenshot I want to send later. So now, I have to constantly go back and forth on whether or not to do this.

I guess here's a Magical Candy Love Question - Am I trying to Adele him?

You know the song... where she goes... I hoped you'd see my face and be reminded... I have way too much evidence to know that has never led to a relationship. That's because I've never been in a relationship!!

Dapple is basically every boy I've had a crush on from high and college. I feel 17 again but not in a good way. In the way where you realize you'll probably not get a first date or first kiss like in the movies. The way where you realize your reality is different from your peers. And you have to be okay with it because if you're not okay with it, you spend the next 20 years wandering the desert.

So maybe, my blog remains my friend and my long hoped for relationship. You can keep my secrets because who else is there? This is my legacy. This blog is my secret keeper. It's the legacy to let the world know I was here. I lived. I tried to make a difference. I'm the only person keeping it alive. That counts. Without me, it would not exist. 

So maybe I dream smaller. Is that an oxymoron?