Wed reflections

 Only 4 more nights in Pandemic House. I'm both overwhelmed with emotions and numbed? I feel stuck between synapses. I sleep but can't feel rested. I still feel so tired. 

I did the garbage pickup around the house. I'm waiting down a meeting so I can take 1 haul to the trash. Then I have to come back and pick up another haul. This kind of feels neverending. 

I started Sertraline last night. We shall see. I'm hoping to see an effect soon and give it a 3 month try. But I think I want to stick with a half tablet if I do start to feel better after the 1st month. 

Luckily, the garbage pickup didn't take that long or much effort or was too gross. Tiny cuts.

For some reason, I don't feel as ruthless as I did before. I'm wanting to keep things that I know I don't use. But I just might!

Mostly with cooking and random supplies. Each supply will cost at least $3 to replace. That's a lot of $3. But I have to try to remember that in 12 months, I'm hoping to really go minimal. I really want to stay with furnished rentals for awhile and get everything down to essentials that I can easily fit in my car without squeezing. 

But I know it's just recent bias that makes me think I need all this stuff. Something about a minimal lifestyle is really appealing to me. Just less decision making overall. Still I guess on this perpetual journey to streamline my life! 

But systems fail so I kind of have reached a point of diminishing returns. 

Anyway, for some reason I was dreading today. The list seems too long. And I'm already sweating. A LOT.

But I have 2 garbage runs, a Walmart return, and some minor things.

There is a part of me that wanted to tape up some of the plastic containers but it's under a couple of boxes and I don't feel like lifting right now. I'm still not sure what I want to do about a trash can. I don't feel like buying a new one, but who wants to carry around a trash can. That's dumb. So I guess it's going in the trash on Saturday. 

I just want to sleep.