9 Days!

 Only 9 days left! I woke up feeling joyous with a sprinkle of tears. Another early summer morning with those loud birds!

It's okay, they're the soundtrack for my future life.

I decided to just be excited and hopeful and joyful. History, be darned! 

I can be whoever I want to be in the next 12 months.

I love that about an aimless life.

I have no memory keepers holding me back!

I decided to change my number when I get to Newtown. Forget, Last Boy. These feelings aren't real. I'm just about to make this huge life change and I'm looking for audience members. So this strong desire to contact him and make him love me is similar to this strong desire for a Friends & Family Game Night. I want someone to witness my life. But that's not my reality, no matter how badly I want it. I should call this feeling Sprout Wings.

Everytime I feel like this, I can say I'm wanting to sprout wings. Because no matter how awesome that would be, it's just not my reality. I'm not a bird. Am I'm not part of an active community of love. 

But instead of crying....or in addition to crying about it, I breathe. Nothing else. I just breathe, because that is involuntary. 

So it's a cool summer morning, just the way I like it. I am trying really hard not to do some more fiddling around with packing. I still need to unscrew the outdoor camera. And I want to take another load of trash to the dump; and I'm obsessed with putting the laptop case in a better spot as well as the 2 laptops I'm lugging around for no good reason! 

I just want to be done, done. But I mean I'm not really. I still have someone coming to pick up the desk this weekend. And the futon next weekend. And cleaners to come.

I think I decided to pack up the car next Friday before the cleaners come so I can get as much of the floor cleared for them to clean! 

I still want to get my car washed, just because... why not wash off the old.

So I was thinking of doing some things today so that next week doesn't feel so overloaded. But I am trying to be mindful of death by a thousand cuts. So I will temper myself.

I probably got a little bit nervous because there's talks of assigning me a new deliverable. So it's unknown what that workload will be.

But yes, friends. 21 days down, 9 days to go!

I can't sprout wings!

There's a new season of a show I want to watch, so I'm trying my best to wait until Sunday since that is Struggle Day!

So yes, I decided to be excited about moving to Newtown. I'm talking all my eggs in that basket. All my dreams are going to come true! I will be the happiest I've ever been. It's going to be the life I always imagined and never got around to articulating. Nothing but my wildest dreams are going to come true.

Thinking anything else is just real life. I need some fantasy. Yes, I will be disappointed when it doesn't come true but who cares. Why be all grumpy about it now and not even get to experience the joy and excitement of a brand new start! I choose excitement. It's my version of cos-play.

So not much on the agenda today.

I really want to roundup the trash in my house; take it to the dump; and get my car-washed. But I'm resisting the urge. So there will likely be a lot of lounging; some tears; some yet to be determined snacks. 

Oh! Also, in my clicking and some worry that I might not have a place to stay on Short Term Rental App - I checked out a city a little further away than Old Town. And then I got excited about it. Yeah! I was not particularly desiring to bunk out in Old Town because... memories. But decided to just power through it because of logistics. 

But Further Away Town got me excited and it's a little closer to Newtown. So win-win. The only issue will be if my stuff doesn't fit in 1 car load. And I'm kind of in the dark about what exactly happens on closing - ie, where do I need to be to sign whatever documents. 

So overall, it's been a great week! I made a lot of progress on getting the house cleared out.