Don't recommend

 As I was stomping out my frustration on a walk up and down the parking lot, I realized, I will have bought and sold and MAINTAINED an entire house by myself with no external financial, emotional, or physical support. No one close to me offered me money; moved me in; gave me any remarkable advice; or helped me through the transaction; or took up any of the mental load. No one was rooting for me; cheering me on, soothing my heartaches and bumps or bruises. Not for any step. 

For many, the issue is the downpayment or maintaining the mortgage and utility payments or tax bill. Not for me... it was the in-between everyday stuff. 

0/10 stars. Do Not Recommend. I wanted to share this with Last Guy to try to pull on some savior heart strings. Ha!

I was 'this-close' to having everything I was meant to want.

Now my journey continues a different way. 

Although the risk of the Buyer backing out of the deal was low because it's a company, it still feels a little more official now that this part is done. As I already mentioned, I'm 99.9% going to go ahead with the deal with no further pushback. I'm just ready to keep this train moving out of the station.

I'm doubly glad I didn't have a slim profit margin. Forking over 5k out of pocket would probably have made me cry if I were desperately trying to leave.

Yay!

I have to celebrate my wins because NO ONE is celebrating them for me or with me or throwing my party. 

I can't care that much for people who have more support than me, in terms of close meaningful relationship with friends and family. It certainly makes it easier to sleep at night. Their landing will always be softer than mine. 

Sigh... so while I was stomping out some feelings (6/10...recommend), I came up with the following plan for me this week:

Today -eat last of rice; that will probably be the last of the rice eating for awhile. I'm starting to think the kitchen officially closes this Sunday sometime... probably 5p. Speaking of deadlines, I haven't heard form Internet Lady today so I'm guessing she didn't get her friends to come do some moving for her tomorrow (Tues). 

Today was a weird day but I feel good again. 

I stayed off the Selling App and just let the pings mind themselves. I realized...errr...what's the urgency?

Tues - Tomorrow I have an appointment with an ortho specialist. Not sure what to think about that. But luckily when I was decluttering my files, I found a copy of my insurance card. Yay! 

I've been enjoying just keeping an errand list for Tuesdays. It helps a lot with burnout; a good boost of accomplishment early in the week; and making rash/emotional decisions. Recommend! So I'll try to make it through my list before my appointment. I've been waking up with the sun, now that it's summer, so I should have a solid 2 hours before my appointment/work. I'm taking the laptop in the bedroom so I can have a bit of a cozy lie-in as well.

And take out smelly trash! I was thinking of taking it with me when I go to the doctor but I will likely just come back and pick it up since I have to pass by this way anyway. I'll already be dressed.

While I'm waiting at doctor's office, I'll respond to people on the Buying App. But I hope to not do any exchanges until Wed when I'll be more focused and getting things done. 

Wed - a busy morning of meetings at work. I'm hoping to multi-task and get in 3 hours of packing. The kitchen is kind of the last big space to tackle. My plan to take smaller bites involves just packing a list of items I previously identified I might want to take. Ultimately, all I really want is my rice cooker. The real pain with this packing is finding some place to put the stuff. Kitchenware is oddly shaped so I can't just them in a bin. I have one extra bin, but I would love to not use it. So I'm going to start with the stuff I want to take, and then leave the decision making for the in-between stuff last. Because ultimately, that's more of an optimizing decision than anything.  So there will likely be 2 piles - stuff for Newtown and stuff for the summer.  It's hard to know how much cooking and stuff I'll be up to doing for those two months. I know enough to keep the oil and salt in case I get a meal kit. But given the heat, that seems very unlikely. I have made no meal/food plans for summer life.  

I do have to do some work on an upcoming deliverable and since I'll likely still have my desk this week, I'd prefer to have that done this week while I have all my monitors.

I was originally shooting for Wed, but I think Thursday might be better if I don't get to it after all my meetings. 

Speaking of monitors, I was originally planning to take my monitors, but now I'm thinking of leaving them behind and just getting one large monitor when I get to Newtown. We'll see how much room there is to pack. 

As I watch these shows with all these fancy ladies, I realize how little interest I have in dressing up. And with more of my comfy-casual-confidence style is coming into focus, I think I might thin out even more of my wardrobe. I'm pretty much going for a grownup Garanimals vibe. 

I'm outsourcing or streamlining as much decision-making as possible.

Oh, I repaired and cleaned my 2 pairs of dollar store earrings! Now that I remembered I had them, it's making me want to just stick with these vs the 5 or so other pairs I saved from the give-away pile. 

I used to be a white gold fan, but now I'm thinking some simple yellow gold hoops might be just the hint of glint I need for everyday. 

I'm hopeful, once I have a year of socializing under my belt, I'll have a better idea of what I like to wear and what feels and looks good for my current life.

Thurs - 1st priority is working on a deliverable; and if that is done, then packing for a 90 minute block.

Then that brings me to the weekend. I hope to have everything cleared out except for the futon I'll need to sleep on.

And next week, I'll plan to schedule the cleaners to come. I was debating between the Friday before I move out Sunday. OR The day before closing. But as I was walk-stomping, I realized I kind of want to walk out of here and don't look back that Sunday. But I'm not married to that idea in case the logistics don't work out. 

I think it'll really depend on what I can get cleared out of here this upcoming weekend. If everything but the futon is cleared out, it's an easier Yes. But if I still have stuff to get rid off... I may need that weekend of people coming in and out before I get the house cleaned. So, yeah. That's pretty much it. 

And my new credit card is arriving this week! I got an email and a text message. So that takes the hoping and wishing off my plate.

I woke up this morning feeling out of sorts and a bit directionless. But I have found a new plan to get me through the next few days. And that is enough!