Hi, friends! I was going to write up a weekend date report, but something else came up.
So at the last minute, I pulled out 3 dates. Lol.
Friday, I hung out with myself.
Saturday was looking the same. I got some takeout and even did a nightime face routine and was settling in for the night. Then one of my matches asked to get drinks that night or this week. I spontaneously chose that night. #morefun
I love a girl with a goal.
So a couple hours later, we met up at a brewery. I got water. We walked around. He touched my back a couple times. Didn't love it, but here we are.
He walked me home. Kind of insisted to walk me to my building eventhough I only wanted to be walked to the corner. Didn't love that.
On the app he asked for my number, so I gave it to him. The next day he asked to go out on Tuesday. I accepted. The day after that, he asked if he could pick me up.
Didn't love that because I was fairly confident he would be handsy.
After sleeping on it, I decided...whatever. He will probably insist on paying for dinner and feel obligated to get in my pants. I think I decided to just consent early on.
Safety check:
Do I think he'll be assertive and handsy? Yes
Do I think he'll murder me? No.
I have money to Uber home if we end up somewhere weird.
I actually might ask him to come up if he doesn't invite himself up.
Why you might ask?
The Iranian booty-called me last night. I was already in bed so I put him off until today. Old Me would have been a little sad, and I was but was able to snap out of it pretty fast. I'd kind of wanted to put it off until June just so I could leverage it for more dates. But the plotting has gotten me no where, and this way at least I can't catch the feels.
So I think I'm gonna try to get in his pants this afternoon. Then use the Handsy Guy as a washout tomorrow.
So that's why. Also, the whole putting up barriers and guardrails feels too much like secret love. None of these meetups are intended to go anywhere past summer fun. So maybe I'm over correcting, but oh well.
I think the more I reflect on it (with my commiserating partner in tow), the more I've come to the unfortunate conclusion (and reaffirmation) that what guys are looking for is something that's not that sustainable for me - be skinny-white (or whatever their version of that looks like).
The harder time I have being in a relationship, the less appealing it is. So I've all but convinced myself it's not something I want or am choosing to actively pursue.
Oh well, so yeah, that's my plan, Future MERJ. Hopefully it'll help mitigate whatever feelings come on Wednesday.
Monday - hookup with Iranian
Tuesday - hookup with Handsy (to washout any lingering feelings for Iranian)
Part of the social experiment with Handsy is to see how this actually plays out for the guy if I put up no resistance and offer no hoops. I don't think it'll be a surprise ending, but I love data, so there's that.
As for the other dates, it mostly felt like just hanging out with a co-worker after work and I was fine with that. Meh, nothing much to report.
Juggling all the matches is a bit cumbersome and I really can't keep track because I'm not really reading profiles. Haha. Luckily, guys aren't women and for the most part I can get away with it.
That's all for now!
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