Transition Week, Day 2

 So yesterday is over. I made it through however tumultuous.

I did it!

I "worked" 3 hours and nobody died. I panicked only a little. I wasn't tempted to mad-check the work iPad. I didn't mentally disconnect because of course I replayed old work conversations over and over, but I did physically disconnect.

So far, I've gotten no questions about new role.

I've been thinking about reaching out to new manager to see if she wants to schedule 1:1s with key stakeholders, but I'm trying to resist the urge because I'm not trying to go into this hot. Overacheiver days are over. 

In other news, as I was reflecting, I realized I've been doing call center for 6 years! I've been an agent, trainer, done QC, reporting, manager. What a wild ride. 

Maybe because it's all I've ever done, but I was getting good at this, at least I think so. In one version of my story, I saw myself doing my boss's job in the next couple of years.

How did I get here. Why am I leaving? Just when the going was getting good?

I don't know anymore. Is this how all breakups are? You forget the road it took to get here? 

This just wasn't the natural progression of things. 

I don't know. I just hope next job doesn't suck. 

But some days I am ready to let go of My Manager and just let her and her Girl Friday take off. 

Should people make professional decisions for personal reasons? I don't know. 

This unknown is now becoming a new source of anxiety.

In other news, was thinking on whether or not to sell my house? But at the end of the day, I haven't easily found anything else for $900/mon.  Do I want to move back to the Mid-West. Now that I'm potentially location independent, the options exists.

I also wonder about speaking my mind and letting my boss know exactly why I'm leaving. I was hoping she'd pick up all my perceived grievances but as I grow into adulthood, I realize more and more that people are really self-centered. And more often than not you have to verbalize things. No one is picking up on the little slights and hurts and pain they are causing you. They just have their own lives to deal with. 

I just don't think I can do it. 

Should I ask the recruiter about my range? Does it matter or am I trying to start something and find a reason to be unhappy? 

Plus, let's be real, my boss doesn't want to hear any grievances against any of her team, so yeah, I'd be shooting myself in the foot. Even if I didn't hope to be lured back. I think I just have to let it go. 

If not directly, I think I do want to get a few love jabs in there. Ugh. I thought I was past this.