Monday, 8a, To Humble Brag or Not To Humble Brag

 Ok so for this Monday's plan, I was to work from 9a to 12n. Three hour day. I woke up suddenly and hot. It's pretty much been like that all of July.

I don't know why my hands refuse to turn my air down to 78 from 80? I told myself I could but I'm just like whatever. More than the heat is the bright sunlight. 

I don't know if I'm getting enough good rest and sleep.

So instead of stewing in my anxiety, I decided just to wake up. The new plan is to work from 8a to 11a. Still 3 hours. Besides, I can get those reports out, I said. 

We'll try again tomorrow. I fall asleep on the couch as a starter thinking it'll help but I have yet to fall back asleep right away when I migrate upstairs. 

So why am I still anxious?

Some thoughts from last night:

Should I email new boss to tell her to set up some 1:1s for people I should meet. Nothing has popped up on my calendar yet. 

Should I message the girl on my new team who was the last to start and ask her about her onboarding process?

Am I already doing too much? 

There are two other things I'm also nervous about.

Should I do an 'ask me anything' session with my boss - HECK NO!

Should I humble brag in my farewell letter to my team and larger team? I think I should as a consolation prize. I want to leave in a blaze of glory. If I do, I think I'll send it at night on Thursday before my day off. They can talk amongst themselves.  If I do, should I CC my boss's boss as well? Haha. I think part of me still thinks she should want me back and entice me back with promise of a promotion and big pay like I see in the movies. The more likely reality is that since a lot of the roles in our department are getting changed to AD, My Buddy is going to benefit from my loss. I will probably cry. Some people are just lucky like that. 

Focus, 2 years or less. 

In a new conversation I had with someone about FIRE, I kept saying 10 years or less to FIRE. I'm so afraid.  Also, do you share your salary with a colleague if you think they will get jealous? 

What was my other anxious moment:

Oh, I want to ask HR about my salary - where it falls in the range. Too much? I also genuinely want to know if I can negotiate my bonus vs long term incentive. The long term incentive seems like a waste to me if I don't plan on staying at the company forever. I'd rather have a larger bonus. 

Ok, I stalled enough. 12 minutes.