The Tears are here to stay

 I was reading Frugalwoods and she provided an update on her journey with depression and sertraline. Got me thinking - maybe it'd help me.

But the fact that male therapist recommended it and at this point he's steered me in the wrong direction too many times to count makes me think - no, thanks. So the tears are here to stay.

(I texted Dan.)

I realized while I've focused my rejection and anxiety spiral recently to dating and to a lesser extent texting with strangers and friends or potential friends...it's kind of for everything. Remember the The Job Hunt of 2019. That was bad. I was in a dark place there too. 

Medication would probably work, but honestly, I'm not in a place to manage anything else right now.

More and more as I sit with the preliminary decision to move in June, I'm becoming more onboard with it. Like...this is really happening. I'm really going to do it. I think a part of me is still going to do it even if OfferPad doesn't send me a new offer next week. 

Yep, mid-June folks. That's my identified closing date. Whoa.

And then the plan is to hang out in DC (or maybe Virginia Beach) until I move to Newtown in August. They even sent me a little nudge email yesterday to schedule a visit. I was like, yes! I love algorithms. 

I've finally let it go about inviting Dan for that trip. Yeah, that's just for-nothing-heartbreak. 

I choose happy remember.

I go on site for work next week! Then head back to NC a few days later. Glad I decided to enjoy the few extra days in Philly instead of just heading back to NC right after my trip. It's an extra travel day but oh well.

I also looked at my vacation time for the rest of the year. And I haven't used any! I have 15 days of vacation days and 3 extra floating holidays. Eventhough my schedule is very flexible, the old call center in me still likes to hold on to a few days, just in case. 

So for my 15 vacation days, I would like to use them to cover a span from the 2nd week of December to the first week of January. I'm hoping I can convince my manager to let me unofficially carry them over. I just really want a good start to the new year and what's better than time off! My original 2023 Plan was to spend December in Miami just because the internet said it's the warmest place in December stateside. And there are a few short term rental companies there. 

But I do think a bit about doing an escorted trip with Gate 1 Travel or doing a tropical vacation. But yeah, just warm and away. And of course easy.

Then I would like to use 1 of my floating holidays for the drive down to Newtown. I decided to leave on Saturday (instead of Friday), so that I can arrive on Monday and aim to pick up my keys to my new apartment.

So yeah, once I can get things going with Offerpad, this will seem more real. I'm getting antsy.

(Dan texted back...an emoji. I'll take it and let out some of my angst for the weekend. Phew.)

Fortunately, I seemd to have dodged weekend work this weekend, but not sure what to watch. I didn't make it to Whole Food because...80 degrees. But the internet said milkfat/butterfat shouldn't affect lactose intolerance so I got 2 treats that I'm pretty sure I've had before from TJs - the chocolate covered grahams and chocolate covered almonds. OMG, the grahams are so rich in chocolate. My gosh! 

I am craving a sweet drink though. Rita's Italian Ice seemed way too far but would be kind of perfect in this heat. 

I actually can't even remember if I posted this morning or not. But I got $150 bonus from Chime after quickly convincing my colleague to sign up for it earlier this week! Woot! Easiest $150 I ever made.