Feeling discouraged

 It would just be nice if someone got my sense of humor or really understood me. My male therapist doesn't get me but it seems not many people in my life get me either.

I made the mistake of blurting about selling my house and instantly regretted it. I'm not even trying to keep it secret. I'm mostly just trying to protect myself from not being disappointed when I don't get the support I crave.

I was relaying a story about my program lead to a committee member and as expected it was just met with silence. No commentary, no commiseration. I had a reaction - like don't you have anything to say. They said, I don't know what your department's policies are. Grrr.

That's beside the point! 

I don't have a husband, child, parent, or sister, or wayward relatives but I still commiserate with her and provide feedback when she tells her stories. Yet, here we are...again. 

Maybe we just stick to bank bonuses and call it a day. Ok. Oh well. It's discouraging.

Same with my male therapist. Maybe we just stick to things that he can solve.

But it just feels like me having to make the changes. But who knows, maybe they have to filter themselves too. It sure doesn't feel like it. 

Actually, now that I think about it... the conversation was about work! So IDK what to do. I'm not getting my needs met by the already very few people in my life. 

It occurred to me that I think I'm the one actively trying to reduce contact, but maybe she is too! So I should probably stop feeling bad about it. She's a human as much as I am a human. There's no way our conversations are any more enjoyable for her than they are for me. Phew, talk about perspective! Ok, well that solves that. No hard feelings, no love lost.