OMG! I think it's a midlife crisis!

 So there were at least 2 women in my family who in their forties after a long period of singlehood decided they wanted a baby and a baby they got.

I wanted to avoid that so had a hysterectomy and have shunned any thoughts of adopting a child..well cuz I can barely take care of myself.

But maybe my mid-life crisis is this unending need for a partner!

Why has it taken me so long to realize this. I've always fantasized about secret love, but now it's literally all I see. It's all the shows I watch and all the content I read. I see it everywhere. Instead of babyfever I have husbandfever!

I am a statistic after trying so hard not to be one. So I don't need anti-depressants! I need a husband. This is 10x worse than babyfever because at least I can have a baby completely on my own if I wanted. I can't materialize a partner!

Wow. I can't believe these hormones are running total havoc on me. Boy being a girl human is hard! Well at least now that I've called it out, I can see it for what it is. Just hormones. This is not reality. I think there will still be many months of crying in the future. 

I wonder how long a mid-life crisis happens?! 

Well, it's no wonder the feeling hasn't gone away. I've been able to squelch most strong feelings for crushes over the years. And I thought it was only every decade or so that the long-standing feelings came about. But oh, no! This has been going on since September of 2021. Yeah, time's up. My new life is starting in 2023....or rather the next stage of my life is starting this fall. I don't have time for nonsense. 

So at least now that it has a name, I can leave Mid-Life crisis right here ..right behind me. It's time for my next stage in life. So in that regard, I'm glad it's happening now. It can stay it's sorry behind right here in Old Town with Toxic Boyfriend. Good riddance to bad rubbish!!!

P.S.- I love a good stat so a quick internet search said a mid-life crisis for a woman is 2-5 years. So that is right for me. Donesies! So Seattle Boy can suck it. He doesn't even get a name anymore. 

P.S.S. - Another quick Google search gave me some symptoms I identify with - sad, lack of confidence after milestone/birthday, feeling unfulfilled, bored, loss of meaning and purpose in life!

Um, check, check, and check!

The “crisis,” so to speak, generally ends when you feel more comfortable with yourself and begin to accept, perhaps even welcome, what life has in store.

Relationships change - Sometimes, these changes lead to unmet needs

ffafd

Um preaching to the choir here. I love a good diagnosis via Google Doctor! Yasss, this is totally speaking to me. And there's another echo of - do things that make you happy! Yes! I shall, thanks for the vote of confidence!