Is this how I die?

 I thought I could handle the breadcrumbs, but the reality is I can't. It's like each new interaction just exacerbates the issue. That's the opposite effect. You'd think it'd make me feel better. But I've checked my phone half a dozen times today and changed my notification setting so I ONLY get notifications from him.

I'm not coping well. Do you want to be my boyfriend or not?

I don't think I can make it through the whole summer like this.

So unfortunately the goal will be my next therapy session. Which is 3 weeks from now.

I'll ask her what to do and try not to do anything reactive before then. 

Maybe I'll just move it to next week. Maybe next week Friday. 

Maybe going back to Seattle is less about dating and more just running away from my problems.

It's not a permanent solution but it's all I got.

But I was sad there too.

6 months of solitude left for this year.

That's what I have to look forward to.

2 months of indoor solitude because it's too hot to do anything outside.