So you had to know it was coming. It was way too quiet up there.
Spiraling just a bit last night. I was good for most of the day, mostly because I was tired. Then at night, that intense feeling of hopelessness started to creep back in. I don't even know what I'm feeling so down about.
I don't actually feel rejected. Preliminarily, maybe I'm thinking gosh I came so close to happily ever after. I don't know.
I don't even think it would work long-distance with the lecturer, but you know this girl can dream.
Although, I'm excited to go home and eat chips and watch TV and get out of limbo, I'm also not looking forward to all that home entails.
I think it was a good trip. It was a good amount of time. Honestly, outside of the lecturer, it would have been a bunch of dud dates. I probably would have been ready to go a long time ago.
I'm confused still on what the universe was trying to tell me when I had all the issues trying to come a week earlier. I just hope I don't find out.
So yeah, I was mass messaging app dudes last night like a bandit. I was trying to fondle some of my money moves.
I just wanted some semblance of control of outcomes.
I had weird dreams about crushes from undergrad.
Yeah, all the things.
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