Tired of thinking about housing

 I have spent all of today and much of the last 2 weeks thinking about housing. I don't even remember how this all started.

But each new think session results with a meltdown, overwhelm, or a new big decision.

Last I figured over the last couple of days - Newtown doesn't really offer the big lifestyle change I envisioned. I'm just moving from one small town to a bigger small town. One person reported still having trouble getting an Uber from the airport. D'oh!

So when I tried to find my walkable luxury city girl apartment, there weren't the usual things I wanted to walk to. No grocery stores and a lot of burger joints. I had my eye on a Whole Foods or TJs (I'd even settle for a bodega!) and at least my soon to be Thai spot. Nada! There weren't really any parks either. Well, friends, this was certainly not Seattle.

So the pressure to make Newtown my home for the next unknown number of years suddenly vanished. I would be returning after my year long commitment. Phew! 

Well that took that decision off my plate. I mostly spent today trying to pre-think through some logistics - looking up apartments, documenting on a spreadsheet; picking out some anchor activities and plotting that on a time plan. That took 8 hours, I kid you not. 

It was comforting to know that Newtown does have a wide range of apartments for most price ranges. So that was nice. 

My anchor activities so far include - starting Pilates (I researched a few places and picked one), and a weekly free yoga class in the park; going to church - yep I searched the church website and even put handbell choir practice on my time plan, lol (never done handbells before but it looks cool); and going to a co-work space 1x/week. This part was actually fun. Just pretending and planning. What can I say spreadsheets and charts are therapeutic. Plus, what else did I have to do today. I woke up in a bit of a panic because my two semi-active projects have had very little input from me. Trying to solve for those was giving my anxiety, so fantasy planning my life was way more fun. 

It helped to have the parameters of just having a really good time for a year and then returning home. I was even fine leaving my house as is. It was the easy choice and I could make the money work okay.

For fantasy life in Newtown - I even researched apartments near the water but became more clear that I wanted to be downtown even if it wasn't that action-packed. While still slim for my proclivities, there were more opportunities to walk places downtown than in the areas outside downtown where there would be none. Compared to my life now, that would be better. So that helped to discern that out. 

Anyway, that was mostly fun. Similar, I guess, to when people make Pinterest boards or design interior spaces from magazine clippings. It cost me nothing and it's fun to play pretend for awhile. 

Anyway, 8 hours or so pass and I decide to take a break and close my laptop.

2 hours later I run some more numbers. Yes, I'm not putting all my life chips in the Newtown basket, butttt...

I identified the top items that my current living situation offers:

- cheap housing = financial flexibility

- black people (new development/realization)

- simple life (I go to McDs, Dollar Tree, Food Lion, and Walmart across the street, but there are no sidewalks, so I drive instead of walk)

I knew Philly was seeming like too much of a money suck and took away some of the flexibility that I'm realizing I really appreciate and want to prioritize. Even though it's a much bigger city and beaucoup black people. 

I'm losing the train of thought that got me to the alternate option. Basically I realized by selling the house for at least a $50k profit, I could afford to increase my monthly housing expense from $850/mon to ~$1100/mon on like a 4-6% withdrawal rate. And that's allegedly "forever," but I would ideally only need that until age 55+ at which time it's cheap senior living for me! 

So I started thinking, that's about where I was in my studio, so I could always just move back there and be closer to the airport and maybe more amenities (that I might actually want to take advantage of this time). 

So basically, the thought is if the main driver for staying put is the flexibility provided by my relatively low cost of housing, if I can achieve that in a different place, then do I still need to return here?  Especially if I'm planning to move again next year anyway.

So I'm still holding onto the default and very easy choice of just pack up some clothes and rent a furnished apartment in Newtown for a year and plan to come back to this house. And discern some more what I want the next years to look like.

But really the urge to sell my house is still nagging at me for these reasons:

- $50k "profit" I might not see again

- pest issues feel unresolved and I don't really want to stick around to find out

- fear of inevitable maintenance/upkeep issues - I'm pretty sure I heard some faint dripping sounds in the second bathroom; plus I haven't changed filters; and need to service the hot water machine

- plus I came to this house to either die or die trying to reach FIRE500 (and I've accomplished one and got very close to the other)

Anyway, I ran some numbers and just got kind of sick of thinking about it. I don't want to think about this anymore. I don't even know if I'll get the paid chance to move to Newtown; this is still all speculation. And I was getting comfortable with the fact that I'm in a position to move and am open to moving, but it's okay to wait and take my time and sit with the feelings and choices. Adult life just doesn't move that fast. Sometimes it takes 2 years to make a decision. And that's okay! And I was starting to feel good about just letting off the mental gas and unfounded urgency. And just enjoy some of the things that I realized are pretty good about my current setup. 

I can't do much now anyway. If all goes to plan, I can't find a new rental in Newtown until closer to my preferred rental date of September. So I still have 5 months! That's for looking for a new place and or selling this place. So I've thought all the thoughts and felt many of the feels.

I'll prob need to focus on work for the next 2 weeks anyway and then pack and head to Philly for a month! So I'm totally shelving this housing discussion for the next couple months and re-allocate my energy to more timely things! Housing thoughts are officially on hiatus until June 2023! Bye, bye, ruminations! Don't come back now, ya hear!