Anxiety management

 I literally feel tired from crying the last couple of days. I already knew an anxiety storm was coming so I put some plans and snacks together for the next couple days.

Not sure if I want to go to the Boomer bowling event tonight, but we shall see. 

For the next two days, I'm going to make some stir fry beef, use up the remaining shredded carrots and add some peas to the rice.

I got some Jamaican food today, but I still have about 2 days worth of food in my gut, so things are not digesting well. 

I am going to treat myself to Apple TV plus and picked out a few shows to watch. I'm proud of myself for that. I questioned its necessity for a second then immediately got to planning. It's helping but hasn't eliminated my anxiety.

I already drafted an email to an old flame. Thought to reach out to an old friend instead but when I realized they hadn't responded to my message from 3 months ago, I thought whatevs. 

So I'm blogging instead.

I was on reddit earlier.

I'm watching another white woman get rescued in a TV show.

I feel 100% confident I am going to be selected and I am excited. (I'm lying, lol.)

I am safe, and I am in control. 

I feel 100% confident this is going to go my way.

It's weird how an email is going to change the trajectory of my life, she said dramatically.

Expect a lot of posts this week. And then it will be over. I wonder where my brain is going to spin to next. I'm going to try and stay awake until 1a tonight and see if that helps with sleeping through the night. 

I need some spreadsheets to fill out. 

Maybe I'll think about life solo and pretend it was by choice. Do whatever divorced women do.