Restless nights

 Last night was a sleepless night. Tired of talking about the R word. Tired of bringing it up in therapy. Plus it's hot and sweaty then cold. And my heartburn is coming back. I guess it's here to stay and I need to be better about aggravating it. 

I guess my food just takes forever to digest. 

I had my remote interview earlier and I find out THIS WEEK if I get the gig. That's my second interview this year. And I put in a couple applications for jobs as well. Yeah, I remember now why I don't like this.

It is pretty cool that I'll find out this week. Before my trip to Philly. Yikes! I almost didn't want to know. How will I stand it. How to distract myself for the rest of the week.

I really should go get my hair braided but considering my work trip is only 2 days it feels kind of silly. I think I'm just going to go with a bun for work trip.

Everyday I feel a new set of emotions about moving and its implications. 

I think what caused a lot of dread and stirred up some old feelings was meeting with the Shoals remote people. It was 3 on 1 and it was all white people. I felt weird and it just reminded me this is what I'd be signing up for if I do this thing or move to another all white city. Groan.

Yesterday, I got lost in the clicking a bit with thinking about moving to DC. But luckily it didn't last long. But DC vs Philly, I think DC makes more sense because eventhough I don't enjoy hanging out with my family, at least they exist. It's tough to figure out what the value is there. Maybe it's intrinsic. But I think Meetup made DC make more sense. There is quite a bit more activity on Meetup in DC then Philly which was surprising. 

So then I was trying to figure out what neighborhood I would want to live in. I don't think the Maryland suburbs where my family lives is really the lifestyle I want. I'm just thinking about driving, the tiny spaces, and schools and big box stores. It's not for me at this stage. So there's an element of am I looking at a place for the short-term or long-term.  And honestly, I've lost track of what I'm trying to achieve. See because I'm not saliently unhappy everyday. 

There is a thought of trying Landing Standby for like 3 months to see which neighborhood I might prefer and/or see if I could do Standby for the long-term. Likely not. Either way, if I don't get one of these programs, I think the earliest I'd probably move is Spring 2024. 

Today, I'm trying to enjoy this nice weather. I'm pretty hungry and want to get some more Jamaican food.

Also, I refreshed my offer with Offerpad and it went up $1500! So I'm only about $4k from the $121k I'm hoping to net. Wouldn't that be hilarious. 

Anyway, I'm hoping to distract myself over the next two days.