Haven't been able to sleep much today. Was up around 2a, per usual. I was sweating throughout the night. I really need to figure that out. I did sleep with the window closed last night, so it's been cooler in the evenings. It's weird to be awake and working at this hour. My body isn't revolting quite like I thought it would.
Even though I did finish V's work (I almost wrote out her name, but Brain told me otherwise). I guess without thinking too much about it, I'll use initials for now. That's what some people do instead of inventing nick names.
Anyway, that was a lot of my thoughts. That's the third time she's tried to "influence" me to do her work. She is supposed to be mentoring me, but just uses it her to advantage really. I guess ultimately, as long as I don't have to lead the document, it'll be okay.
Actually once I think about it like that, on what I can get out of it, I'm less infuriated. But I think I'm still going to cancel the celebration. #petty
So yeah, I wasted a day and some sleep being mad about that, and here we are. Oh well.
I'm getting a little overwhelmed with these social activities. I think I prefer not having to worry about planning. One of my new friends, K, wants me to get on What'sApp so I can get on a group chat for activities.
I guess one of my old goals was to meet people but once I released myself from the pressure of making connections, I'm less sure of what to do. What's my concern you ask? Well What's App is another app to manage, but more importantly, it's another place to not have any friends. To be rejected, not contacted, and be alone. So I don't know.
With forming connections, meaningful or not, being less of a priority, I'm not feeling as compelled right now, but we shall see.
What's App is also what my bio family and overseas family use. That potentially opens that portal. Who knows.
It's a lot right now to manage. I just want to get back in bed.
I wanted to cook today, but mostly right now I want to sleep.
It's still dark out. Omg, just checked. Sunrise is at 7a! Wow. Hilarious.
So I'll probably cook today when it's light out. I was thinking of walking with the French girl, just to get out of the house, but I have an activity Friday and a couple choices on Saturday, so that's already making me feel overwhelmed.
It's a good feeling nonetheless.
I think I might back out of trivia planning and let either M or S plan it.
I'm sooooooo happy I got V's work done during one of our team meetings. When I get over being petty, I'll be really happy about that!
Oh, I should mention that yesterday's therapy kinda dampened my mood a bit. I don't really want to be reminded of Depth of Despair.
Anyway, I might click around some budget stuff because I love it. Then get back in bed.
Oh, I was supposed to go check out Grocery Outlet, but I jumped the gun and ordered some stuff online from Walmart #easychoice. That was like $40 for maybe 8 things. Geez!
I'm going to be honest, I've been thinking about how to stay for Nov and Dec. And not sure whether I should entertain that thought to death or just stick with the plan. Since I know now that there's no "falling into place," I at least know I don't have to wait for something else to happen, it's just my choice.
The biggest variable I have to test is waking up before sunset And having to do work. I say work "comes first," mostly to mean I have to make sure I can do that well before I can do anything since that funds everything else.
Technically, I will be doing a lot of copy and pasting in Nov and Dec. If it stays that way, that should be mostly manageable if I stay.
But for right now, the plan is to go back.
I think this came back up when I was getting supplies. I ended up going with supplies I might need for 1 more month vs undetermined amount of time. So who knows.
I'm very hungry!
Anyway, I'm so happy I got the real deliverable work done!!! Wheeee!
Alright, getting sleepy.
There was something else I wanted to tell you, but can't think of it.
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