How Today Might Look Different After Bonus Day

 As you know, the next big expected inflection point in my work life is Bonus Day. Originally, I was going to use it as a measure to understand how my value as an employee is perceived by my boss. You see I work in a soft-skills focused job, so how well I do is really a factor of how well I get along with my boss. Thus, I was using Bonus Day to gauge that beyond her very enthusiastic words. 

But at this point it's just an arbitrary date. I mostly just want her to be able to point to a time when she noticed a change. I can only craft a one-sided narrative you know. She may not even notice, but this is what I thought I could do. The date is arbitrary at this point because I believe bonus rewards are already locked in. Additionally, last Friday I sort of had a better understanding that I remain on the outside of a tight knit circle my boss has with My Buddy. And my boss already mentioned that pretty much everyone gets the Target Bonus unless you're seriously underperforming. 

I carry on nonetheless. 

After Bonus Day, here's how today might have been different.

1) The meeting that ran over past 5p- I would have said, sorry, I have to drop!

2) The emails I responded to after 5p -  I would have left for the next day

3) The highlights I proactively provide for data heavy excel sheets - I'm thinking of stopping and seeing if she notices/asks for it. 

4) All the background work I did to understand and respond to an email - I would have phoned it in; did a once over and responded to the most salient features that I already knew

5) Not asked a couple of the questions I did today.

Some things I already did without trying

1) Did not try to say much in one of the call guide meetings. It's really not supposed to be my responsibility. 

2) Not respond or pay too much attention to a groupwork process. (I really would've preferred to be the process owner to this and about 4 other things so I can just give the directive vs weeks of conversation and revisions)

3) I shared my calendar with My Buddy (I mean I'm just preparing for her upcoming promotion where she will likely outrank me!!)

I'm feeling pretty salty that I'm likely underpaid in my band. At first I thought it was a lot of money to not do that much work (it is), but there's no reason why I can't be paid as much as everyone else to not do work. Just saying.