It's too hard...

 I think a lot of these negative emotions are work-stress induced. I have a meeting I have to lead tomorrow and some very stressful timelines and work conditions. It just makes everything else seem a bit insurmountable.

But I keep going because this first quarter is just to focus on work, so I can let everything else go to the wayside for now.

I know I have to prioritize and this is what I'm doing.

I bought some wrist weights a week or so ago that have just been sitting on the floor. I was just tired of my whole right side hurting so much. It hurts to brush my teeth because my muscles are so fatigued. So I thought if I could wear wrist weights around it might help to strengthen some muscles in that area. 

To not pay for shipping I bought a second pair of weights in a different size. 

I tried them on about a week ago. Last night I tried to put on 1 weight on my wrist and 1 weight on my ankle. After a few minutes, I decided it was just too hard.

I just wanted to give up, so I did.

I, quite literally, can't take on anymore weight right now. Not even 1.5 pounds. It was just too hard.

Right now, I just feel that way. Other than focusing on work and going to therapy, that's about all I can manage. 

Things that are just too hard right now:

- Dealing with non-automated life functions

- Getting into better shape/ resolving inactivity

- Socializing

- Planning travel

- any major life changes, thinking, planning, or acting

- chores around the house

The list goes on. It's a weird cycle because I think if I did more of those things, it would help pass the time and I wouldn't feel so zombied out. But I just don't have the energy right now.