Tuesday, 8:24am, Stuck in Negative Feedback Loop

I actually slept through most of the night. I thought I'd be awake most of the night ruminating on the bad call and negative feedback. Nope, my brain saved that for this morning.

I just don't know how to move forward. I know I'm going to spend the rest of the day replaying all the things I could've done differently. It's so hurtful to be called incompetent. I feel like saying that old middle school comeback, "I know you are, but what am I?"

If I were to stand back and take some perspective, other people are losing their lives and struggling. So yes, this is not that. But because my job is such a big part of my life, this negative feedback is a big part of my life.

Going to work is essentially the only thing I do other than general life.

I'm supposed to be going to the store and taking the trash to the dump. I'm just not in the mood.

What could make this better? 
- Having some great shows to watch on Wed and Thurs (my days off)
- Having some fun snacks to eat while watching great shows

Are there any fun reality shows out there that aren't women behaving badly?

Still ruminating
I know you hear people say, or students say, their teacher or their boss or their co-worker is out to get them. You know those instances where it feels as though someone just doesn't like you. I'm starting to feel that way about the client. I "challenged" her in a meeting a couple months back, and I think since then her feedback has been especially harsh. Yes, the call could've been better. But when I step back from it, I mean it was not a great customer service experience but what did I actually do wrong? It was certainly not the outcome I anticipated when I followed up with that doctor or I would not have called him back in the first place.

I don't know anymore. I just want this to have never happened. It's like a car accident, where 3 seconds changes your whole life.

This is that.