Sunday a.m. check-in

 Woke up to try to get a Sunday p.m. therapy appointment. Not quite sure why I was dragging my feet. On this and similar things. I think I didn't want to need it. But it would've been nice. Oh well. She's not available until Tuesday a.m.

Looks like her Mondays aren't till evening as well. Still trying to figure out what I want. Wahhh.

I was hoping that the air purifier would give me confidence to stay and go on my vacation, but the smell magically got a lot worse yesterday. I could smell it outside the apartment when I came back from a night out. 

But as I was driving, I kind of resolved to stay. Pet smell never killed anyone right? So what if I swallow some dog hair. 

I was all geared up to just deal with it, but this morning is a different story. I keep trying to solve it. 

I guess we'll see if my mood changes tomorrow.

The big issue is planning my trip. 

Whoops! Just remembered I needed to cancel my trip. I was hoping to just rebook but apparently I'm too close to take off. So I am going to hold on to the credit for now to encourage me to actually take the trip instead of being like forget it. 

I was able to catch up on some sleep yesterday which was nice. Surprisingly, less train running on the weekends. The train rattle and horn feels like death, if death were a sound. 

I think I decided to go on the camp retreat as well. Might as well have fun. Do all the things, have all the fun. 

I requested the time off for next week for Cabo but didn't put any calendar reminders out since so close to the day. Gives me time to decide and save face. I do work in a team environment so that factor can't be ignored. 

And just like that I spaced out again.

Camels

My spirit animal for this season is a camel. I'm a camel in a sea of emotional support fish. I can do a lot with a little. I've been chasing and trying to keep up with fish, but I'm a camel. I'm lumpy and look weird; I'm hairy and I spit weird. But I'm a living thing that's just as deserving. I'm just me, I'm a camel. I'm just not a fish. I live and survive, and dare I say thrive in emotional desertland. And that doesn't make me x or y, I'm just a camel. 

That thought has been on my mind the last few days. Now it's out. 

Other things

Can we celebrate I left my toxic relationship! I'm onto new things. It's interesting how small the problem seems when you're away from it. Can you imagine how much time and thought and tears and planning and distress went into making the decision to leave and sell my house. Now it's like, why did I ever consider another option.

I think that's why I'm just so ready for this housing situation to be solved so I can take it off my plate. 

I'm hoping the new furniture will boost my spirits. And we'll plan to go to Cabo this weekend. Luckily I have until Wednesday to make up my mind. 

I might just wait until then to book the hotel. That will give me about 1-2 days to see. I'm going to try not to work on this "problem" until after furniture is delivered tomorrow. 

Ok, sorry, I'm not proofreading this. Ta Ta!