Another Cry for No Reason

 I give up.

I don't even no where to start.

At this point, I think my boss is doing the thing I was actually hired to do. Now I feel foolish for wanting or even expecting to be paid more. Truth be told, I still half expect it. She postponed our roles and responsibilities meeting for 2 weeks. In magic fairyland, this is of course to ask her boss to give me the role and salary I casually mentioned. Ha!

I guess I'm just convinced the things she's saying about other people who sort of share this role with me, she's now saying about me to other people. I.e., they're not where they need to be. 

Except I didn't know I was supposed to be doing this part of it. I thought the Brand team would give us a finished product to manage not a half-finished product for us to plug in holes. 

So now she's doing it. Am I supposed to be doing it? She would never tell me. 

Again, if I'm not excelling here, then what am I doing here?

And I think everytime she lumps me in with My Buddy, it affirms for me that I'm worthless to her because I don't think that girl does anything. Again in my opinion.

Like I need a qualifier on my own blog.

I think this wet spot on the ceiling is just too much to manage. I made 3 phone calls yesterday. Roto-Rooter came out and charged me $200 to not fix a problem. I don't even want to try flushing because what he thought was the issue wasn't but I still had to pay. I wish I'd had the good sense to ask if I had to pay if what they thought was going to be there wasn't.

It's funny because for a second there, I was stressing about finding a cheaper place to live without these homeowner surprises. Then I rub my tongue over my gross gold tooth and look around at my cheaphouse and remember my destination. This is the end stage of my life and this is the house I die in. It doesn't get any better. 

I have half a mind not to even trouble myself with the toilet anymore. I have 2 other ones that work fine for now. 

I'm at least going to postpone until after the 4th. Or at least try to anyway.

My Buddy actually sent me 2 messages about the roles and responsibilities. Really? And all the messages I sent needing help with Knowledge.

I just bit my tongue and decided to Mind My Business. I said it was great and I'm fine with whatever. Ha!

I think the next launch as much as I'm refusing it is wholly on my plate. I'm just mad because it's not great work. 

I have the interview for Clinical Writer next Tuesday! I want so much to be happy and look forward to it, but my interview track record is so terrible all I can think to do is cancel it. Not cancelling it means I'm hoping my life gets better. And that's not a place I want to find myself. 

But maybe I need it to go terribly so I can feel more stuck in this place. 

Being the super competitive person I am and a little uncertain if I was up against anyone, I tried to check the calendar of one of the hiring managers and I didn't see any other interviews on her calendar for the next 2 weeks. So, maybe I'm the only one!

Well, I thought I was a shoe-in the first time I tried to leave Call Center #1 and look where that landed me - a tailspin of regret. 

Luckily or unluckily, I still have the presentation from my failed Med Info interview. 

Am I ready for a 3 hour interview? No!

Should I get my hair done? Should I wear a suit? Do I even know where my suit is?

I need to calm down and not be so sad.